The Hidden Tears | A BTS Fan Fiction | Book 1 ✔

Chapter 14 : Why You?

Warning⚠ - This chapter contains mentions of depression and sucide.

•31 May 2021•

Looking outside the window there was just one thought going all around your mind. Why You?

Why does it always have to be you who has to suffer?

The taunts of the society when you were young. Them judging you for your different mindset, for you wearing clothes of your choice, for you having guy friends.

Your comfort zone, the one who protected you from all the dangers of the world leaving you. Your brother leaving you.

The unexpected death of the only people who understood you, your parents. The one's who encouraged you to do what your heart said and ignore the society.

Everyone blaming you for not being able to save your parents without even knowing the whole truth. Your relatives abandoning you in an orphanage because you were just a burden over them.

You went through depression, anxiety, trauma all because of this but people still judged and blamed you. Your sleepless night, heartfelt crying, attempts to sucide.

Just when you felt that your life will be back on its tracks now that you're adopted, you got to know that you have the most heartless brothers who don't even want you near them.

You were being sexually harassed, somehow escaping from the one's who were trying to rape you and yet no one even caring to ask how you were? To ask what happened to you?

You are the indirect reason as of why Jimin broke some fingers of his left hand and him falling unconscious, right?

You being the reason of Jin getting disappointed over you, losing his trust over you. Him regretting his decision to open up to you.

And now? Your so called adoptive brother  trying to choke you to death so that you end up getting on the infirmary bed. Blaming everything on you and calling you a bitch?

Isn't it better to die than to live this life? People say that you should be strong but no. You aren't. You aren't the mentally strongest girl they would find. You have fought alot. For yourself, for your parents, for your brother. You have fought alot with this depression, this society. It's so hard now. Hard to even think that it'll all get better someday because you know that it won't. You're a curse, a girl who brings sadness and tragedies with her wherever she goes.

You should have been the one to die that night and not your parents. How happy life for others would have been if you weren't alive. Your parents for sure would have cried over it for some months but it would all have been fine with time. Your brother. Your brother wouldn't ever have left if it wasn't for you. He would still have been there. He would have handled them and helped them go through the pain of your death.

And the seven men who are a part of your life now? They wouldn't even have to see your face. They wouldn't have to handle this unnecessary burden which they didn't even ask for. Jimin won't be lying on the bed with his fractured fingers. Yoongi and Namjoon wouldn't have got into a fight. Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook won't have to get angry in the morning after seeing your face. Jin won't have to lose his trust. Hoseok wouldn't have been struggling everyday to hide his happy personality.

It's all because of you, isn't it? Why did you even agree to this adoption. It's better to leave everything behind. Everyone will be so happy, satisfied to see you leave them.

Looking around your room you desperately tried to find anything that can cut your wrist. End it once and for all. Throwing away the blankets from your body, you got off the bed and stepped towards your study table. You opened the second drawer and pushed away some of your diaries and stuff to find that one box you needed the most right now. And there it was at the end of the drawer, hidden perfectly.