The Hidden Tears | A BTS Fan Fiction | Book 1 ✔

Chapter 15 : A Burden?

•31 May 2021•

Is there something she can't handle?
She's been broken, she's been knocked down, she's been defeated, she's been neglected, she has felt the pain that most couldn't handle, she looks fear in the eye, year after year and day after day.

She even runs, she even hides. She falls down too but always finds a way to get back up. She has become a warrior, a warrior with broken heart and soul, a warrior with so much love to give yet has no person she can call as hers. A warrior who craves for love and affection every single day but has no one to give her what she asks for.

Yet you ask why she's depressed? Why she's weak? She isn't. She was never.

"Why would you even do that?" Yoongi's soft voice again rang into your ears but you didn't dare to look up. You didn't dare to come out of his embrace because you never wanted to. His hands wrapped so securely around you, holding you close as if you'll do something if he'll loosen the grip. His body gently rocking back and forth with you in his embrace to calm your crying down. You never even imagined you'll get to experience it again, this care, this warmth, this love.

"Eunjae! Please talk something." He again said, his voice pleading, desperate to know the truth. But you don't want to speak, tell him the truth. Never. Not because you think that he'll think of you as a weak person, but because you don't want his pity and sympathy.

2 hours! Almost 2 hours since you both have been sitting in that position but you didn't even say a single word. And he? He didn't even once let go of you, didn't even once break the hug. All he did was telling you that it's all fine, it's all good. Telling you take deep breathes and throw all the negative thoughts. He was constantly whispering soothing and encouraging words in your ears. It all meant one thing. He has handled all this before too, he had dealt with a depressed person before too.

"Eunjae? You can talk to me.... Please don't stay silent. Say anything. Just anything but please say something." He once again said, with much more desperation. He just wanted to hear you, get a confirmation that you're okay. You being all silent was scaring him out, even more than the day he found you on street.

And you knew one thing. He was crying. The way one of his hand will leave your back for a brief moment, probably to wipe his tears off. The way he'll try to suppress his sniffles but you heard them somehow. The way his voice would crack in between while he was comforting. You observed that all. All of it.

"O-okay! You said you like ice-creams right? I heard you asked Jimin to bring you some a few days ago... Let's go have some now, hmm?" He asked, voice all low and soft, as if a little noise would break you apart.

You clearly remember the incident he was talking about. It was one of those interactions with your brothers you can never forget.

A few days ago
Craving for some tub full of ice-cream because of these monthly periods you somehow made your way down the stairs, bearing the deadly cramps in your abdomen. Gosh! How much you hate all this.

Reaching the kitchen, you opened the refrigerator to take out the chocolate ice-cream box you bought this afternoon while coming back from the school because you very well knew how much you'll need one in the evening. But to your surprise there was nothing, no ice-cream tub and no chocolate bar.

"Eunjae, I don't want the food the get spoilt because of you standing in front of an open freezer." You heard the voice of Jimin rung in your ears. Quickly closing the door at the order you turned around only to see him heading out somewhere.

"WAIT! You're going out?" You asked while running towards the front door where he was standing. A smile on your face thinking that maybe he can bring you what you need.

"Why? Do I need to take you permission to head out now?" He said rudely getting impatient at your interruption.

"No... I just want to ask could you please bring some ice-cream on your way back. I'm really craving for some." You said fidgeting your fingers due to nervousness but a small smile of hope on your face which soon faded after his reply.

"I'm not your servant, you get that?" He spitted and started walking out the door but your stubborn self and period mood swings were not happy with the response.

So to make him agree to your request you held his arm with both your hands making him stop on his tracks, but he jerked it away with all his strength pushing you and making you fall on the floor.

"DON'T FUCKING DARE TO TOUCH ME. YOU GET IT? DON'T BE A BURDEN THAN YOU ALREADY ARE OVER US." He said and walked out of the house leaving you on the ground with tears falling down your cheeks. A Burden. That's what you were.

"I'm a burden" You uttered your first words after 2 hours making Yoongi tense at your words.

"No no no! No Eunjae! You're not. Why would you say that?" He asked all panic, fearing that your dark thoughts aren't going away. Only if he knew that it was his words that triggered these thoughts, these bad moments.

"Eunjae!" He said finally breaking the hug and making you face him. While one hand was still hold you securely, the other hand was now resting on your cheeks, the thumb gently wiping away the tears. "You do all your work yourself, you even do our work, you never ask even for a single penny from us, you never ask us to bring you things. How could you be a burden then, huh? All we ever do is provide you food."

"B-but -"

"No buts now. I said we're going to have an ice cream and that's final." He got up from the bed pulling you up along with him and started heading out of the room.

So good you felt having someone who cares for you, but there was still a doubt in your heart. Why? Why would he care for you when no one else did? Was is because now that he knows you are depressed? Is it all just out of guilt?
_______________________________________________________

Happy. That's what you were feeling right now. Any bad thoughts which you had in mind all this while completely flown away. Yoongi made them fly away.

He had spent the whole evening with you, not even once bringing up the previous incidents, not even once making you feel sad. All you guys did was have some ice-cream, then snacks, roaming on the streets, window shopping and then finally have one more ice-cream. You talked about all the things you could think of, your favourites, your dreams, your interests. Everything.

It was almost 10 in the evening now and you both were back into the mansion. Yoongi had to park the car so he asked you to go to your room first and get ready to have a talk. You very well know what he meant so without any further questions you agreed. What you both didn't know was that there were some devils waiting for your welcome inside.

"Ohh look! Someone is back after playing with some boys. How much did you earn today? Was it fun? Your legs must be hurting or are they used to it now?"

•√•

A boring chapter? Yeah! I know it. I just wanted to give you guys a filler. I know it has been too much Yoongi screen-time so I'll be bringing the members back into the plot now.

Don't forget to vote and comment anything related to the chapter.

Your Overtalented Author
~Av

21/03/21