Coco Bean [Sanders Sides Analogical AU]

This is Me

Trigger Warnings: new bitch named Becky, I know y'all're gonna hate her, blood mentioned, Remus being a hazard to society, swearing, this is a very funny chapter

After only a week Virgil was freed from bed rest and allowed to return to school. Everyone was overjoyed to hear this, most of all Virgil. Entering the school building again was such an experience, but Virgil had no fear because he was surrounded by his friends, and boyfriend.

"It really has been too long since you were last here," grinned Remus as he healied down the hallway. He would continue to do so no matter how many teachers yelled at him.

"Yeah it has been. Over a month. I wonder if the blood is still in the parking lot," Virgil glanced out the window only for Janus to grab him by the shoulders.

"Let's not go check. We have classes to get to," he said, steering them away, towards the stairs.

"Well, I need to get off to Politics. See you guys at lunch," Patton waved as he left to the stairs.

Janus left with him, both going to the second floor.

Logan gave Virgil a quick peck on the cheek.

"Love you, see you in AP Astronomy," he cooed before leaving, Virgil smiling after him.

Remus and Roman were going to follow Logan, Virgil preparing to go to AP Art when he felt something. That feeling when you know so thing's gonna go wrong, like an approaching storm.

"You!" a high pitched voice shouted from the other end of the hallway. Virgil looked over in surprise to see a girl, in a skimpy blue short skirt, black crop top clearly showing her cleavage, black four inch healed shoes, several pounds of makeup, and bleach blond k white girl hair straighter than a walking stick.

"Oh shit," Virgil uttered as the girl stomped over to them, her basic blue eyes lit with fury.

"You're the bitch that got my boyfriend in jail!" she screeched, the Laurent twins now looking over, both preparing to throw punch a bitch.

Virgil blinked at her, knowing fully well who she was. He just smiled innocently, batting his eyes and folding his hands him front of him, over his lavender skirt that went to his knees.

"Hi Becky. You got back from surgery. So you're going for the artificial look what with all the plastic you're made of now," Virgil smiled sweetly, seeking Becky's cheeks and forehead turn red with anger.

"You little whore. You're such a bitch, you don't deserve anything in life! You should be dead! Chris didn't deserve what happened to him. You're the one who should be in jail, you stupid fag!" she screeched like a damn dinosaur.

"My mother was abusive and is currently six feet underground. Also I'm not a whore. Unlike you, who's slept with nearly ever straight dude in this school, I remain a pure virgin. You're the only whore here," countered Virgil, batting his (naturally longer and prettier) white eyelashes. "Enough bullshitting. Chris is in jail for his own mistakes. Not mine. In fact, I had to spend a month in the hospital because of him. So don't come bitching to me about your sugar daddy being locked up."

Remus and Roman started with identical 'oh shit' faces as Becky seemed to be boiling over.

"You little," she made a motion as his she were going to lung. Virgil acted on instinct, reaching into his pocket and grabbing his secrecy weapon. The silver utensil glinted in the school lighting, stopping Becky in her tracks.

"What the fuck? Why do you have a fucking fork on you?" she sneered, Virgil twirling the fork between his fingers.

"Well, when it comes to assault and bullying I'd prefer be the psycho with the fork than without it. That's Streets Smarts, baby!" shouted Virgil before sprinting away down the fine arts hall, Roman and Remus cackling as they ran after him, leaving Becky standing along in the hallway, a dumbstruck look on her makeup caked face.

"Virgil, that was marvelous! 10/10, you got that bitch!" laughed Roman who was leaning on his knees from running and laughing.

"Yeah! Who was she anyway?" asked Remus.

"Chris' girlfriend. Some dumb blond who knocks up anyone and everyone, only dates people for their money," answered Virgil, a triumphant smirk on his face so he looked like the knife cat meme. "Now we need to get to class."

"Right! We're telling the others about this at lunch!" Roman called as he speedwalked (read:sprinted) to the stairs.

"Especially the part with the fork!" added Remus, running after him.

Virgil smiled to himself and walked down the familiar hallway to the art room.

"Great start to Monday," he smirked, taking his seat in his usual spot.

I died. For two months. And now this story has 24k readers and I have 160 followers.

Why do you follow me?

I'm an anxious nonbinary lesbian with a diagnosed general anxiety disorder.

What have I done to earn this many people staring at me?

Post your answers in the comments. I like funny answers and honest answers. Don't be afraid to voice your opinion, like how I am.