Coco Bean [Sanders Sides Analogical AU]

Middle Finger

Trigger Warnings: swearing, like, a whole lot of swearing (if you can't handle a lot of cursing this really isn't the chapter for you), the long awaited destruction of Virgil's innocence (he does it to himself tho)

The next morning everyone was pretty sluggish, definitely not moving fast by any means, since both Remus and Roman were recovering from tree hugging the day prior and everyone was slightly sore from skiing. So that day was recovery day were they took things slow and simplify relaxed.

Almost everyone was in the living room watching Hamilton since it was on Disney+, Virgil in the kitchen refilling his mug of hot chocolate. While in there Virgil made an executive decision of asking for some knowledge that had been forbidden from him for eighteen years of his life.

So when he came back into the living room he set the mug on the side table then said; "I have come to a very important decision."

Everyone looked over at him, confusion and interest in their eyes since this wasn't something that normally happened.

"The council of me, myself, and I have decided that, since Remy isn't here to stop it, I want y'all to teach me swears," he continued with a smiled, nearly everyone's face paling.

"Why do you want to know swears?" Janus asked cautiously.

"For one everyone uses them nowadays and I don't want to seem like an idiot or culturally inept, and I also want to know what Remus, Roman, and Logan mean when they're cursing at each other when they think I'm not listening," Virgil explained, Logan, Roman, and Remus all looking away in guilt and the shock that they've been caught (they had been so careful).

"Well, what do you want to know? We need a starting point if we are to teach you," said Roman, still looking apprehensive towards this idea.

"I suppose we can start at the base with crap, damn, ass, piss, and bastard. Then we can move on to the advanced ones like fuck, shit, bitch, and dick, though I already know what dick means," Virgil said, taking his spot in Logan's lap while his boyfriends shakily started combing his platinum dyed hair.

"How do you know what dick means?!" Janus demanded only for Virgil to lazily point at Remus as he picked up his hot chocolate from the table.

Remus' eyes widened and he nervously chuckled, looking around at everyone's expressions, Janus' 'what the hell?!' face, Patton's 'I'm not made I'm just disappointed' face, Roman's and Logan's looks of understanding , then Virgil who just seemed like nothing was wrong to him, which, to be fair, wasn't. How was Virgil to know how weird this conversation was? No one has ever purposely swore in front of him since their lives were threatened by Remy, so he had no idea what was so wrong about it.

"It was when we first met, so don't go blaming him. Remy hadn't traumatized him yet," added Virgil, noticing the heated looks Remus was getting.

"Alright. Well if we are going to teach you this you can't say it around Remy or else we will die," said Roman.

"I'm not a dumbass, I know Remy threaten y'all when we first became friends. He does it to everyone, even Emile," giggled Virgil.

"Well seems like you already have one down," commented Patton before adding, "I'm going to stay out of this conversation since it not my type of cookie. But y'all have fun explaining it."