chapter thirty-three: her breakdown

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"So, Eunwol, when did the relationship start?" NCT 127's manager asks as he sits on a chair beside the girl's bed.

Eunwol doesn't look at him and only stares blankly at her covers as she hugs her knees- a position her figure has grown onto.
"Over a week ago."

"So, all those dates are real?"

"Yes."

"And all those night trips he made, they were to see you?" The manager queries and she nods which leads to another question. "And where is this place you guys meet?"

"Here," Eunwol answers, uncomfortable and bothered. "At my house."

The man frowns and lets out a sigh. "Eunwol, you know this whole relationship isn't the wisest decision. Especially, when you're aㅡ"

He stops himself quickly and observes her reaction which appears to be none. "The point is, this can't happen. Not now. Because of that, we think that it's best if you... stop working for us."

It doesn't shock her at all, she expected it and yet, it still manages to crack her already fragile heart into pieces.

She says nothing to it and the man stares at her, empathetic but has already chosen his priorities.
"I advise that you let things die down before you go out. I'll take my leave now."

He swings the door open agape when she suddenly, speaks.

"How about Haechan? He's under curfew too, isn't he?" Eunwol asks and looks at the manager whose silence answers her question. "...Did you take his phone? He hasn't been answering me for days."

Despite, the ignorance she's been receiving, she still trusts the said idol- patiently waiting for him.

But his manager's next reply crushes her only bits of hope.

"No. We just told him not to contact you."

A storm roars within her and her heart drowns in the flood of overwhelming emotions. "And... he actually, listened?"

Her voice cracks and the manager gulps but maintains his composure.

"What do you think?" He queries back and leaves immediately after.

Again, without a direct verbal reply, she can still discern the answer.

That's when she loses it and she bursts- hot, heavy tears rushing down her face like a fast stream while her nails dig deeper into her legs that she embraces.

Her grievous wails fill the entire room resoundingly until her throat reaches the point where it's strained, as if torn like a sheet and her voice can no longer suffice.

And so she sits there, frozen like a poor stump separated from its trunk- waiting for death to greet and rot or grow into yet, another healthy, gorgeous tree.

Sadly, Eunwol has no will nor the requirements needed to obtain the second.

Therefore, she just... stays- staying completely still as time rushes by and the day turns to night.

Her hollow, puffy eyes stare numbly at the wall of posters. Slowly, she stretches out her legs and pressesnher soles against the cold tiles- dragging herself towards the images.

Fingers trace the edge of a certain picture, a picture of him, Lee Haechan and she rips it off with all the little energy she can muster.

The half-torn page of Donghyuck is clenched within her fists and she pierces her sharp gaze through it- but, droplets of tears start to dot the sheet.

She did it, she ripped the image all by choice so, why is she sobbing about it?

Her previous fiery rage is diminished by the heavy rain of sadness and she leans against the wall as she hugs the poster desperately- yearningly.

Is she a fool for still loving him and not believing the manager's words? Or is she actually, wise and thoughtful for doing so?

Either way, it's useless. Because, right now, she can't think of a possibility where she and Donghyuck can be together- let alone, meet.

At this very moment, she finds herself standing in a pitch black tunnel where light is absent at both ends.

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