Affinity [h.s]

36

Just have faith in me, I promise it gets better :)
The first half might hurt a bit but get ready for a Chapter or two like this :/

//TRIGGER WARNING: ANXIETY ATTACK--BREAKDOWN//

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Grace Evans

"Oh yes I can."

It was breaking me to think that he wouldn't even listen to what I had to say.

Zayn slowly brings the gun to my chest pointing it to my heart.

"At this point, Zayn, I know there's nothing I can do that will change your mind.." I say as my voice broke.
"But I wish you could trust me, just this once, I never meant to do any of this."

A tear rolled down his face.

My shaky hands reach his face as I softly caress him, hoping it'd make him feel a little better.

"I'm hurting, Grace." He says with a broken voice as the gun stays against my chest.

"I-I know.. and if I could take it all away, I would. I know you've been hurting and that you've been through a lot." Tears keep streaming down my face.
"And I know you think I betrayed you.. but I don't know how to make you believe me that I didn't.."

"I never thought I'd be doing this to you." He says bending forward resting his forehead on my shoulder taking deep breaths.

He was really hurting. I could feel it.

"For the millionth time, Zayn, I didn't do anything. I'm so... sorry.. but I didn't know any better." I say knowing that this won't even help anymore. "don't kill me.."

"I wish I had a reason to trust you." He says lifting his head from my shoulder, the infuriated look returning to his face.

I try to get away but he immediately grabs me hard. "Don't try to run from me!!!!" He shouts.

"Please don't kill me..." I try one last time.

"I promise I won't bother you anymore....And if you don't want, I won't even talk. But I haven't seen my parents in months, Zayn....Th-They'll break. Please don't do this. H-Harry.. he can't cope with it. He'll blame himself his entire life. I can't let that happen to them, I'm so sorry please let me go." I say as tears choked my throat.

"Don't make this any harder for me, Grace. I'm not the one who gives second chances." He says as hurt reflected in his voice.

"It hurts me to think that none of what we had was real." His jaw clenched.

"No- all of it was real. Don't say that. I would never." I shake my head.
"It was all real Zayn, I was hurting.. an-and then I found you. Y-you helped me so much.. and I liked having you around. All of it, all of it was real."

"Well then, I guess, this is goodbye."
He completely ignored whatever I said.

He looks down at the gun and places his finger on the trigger.

I let out a shaky breath looking at him as his eyes draw back to mine.

I slowly shut my eyes because I couldn't see him kill me.

I had a glimmer of hope in me that maybe he wouldn't actually do that to me. That maybe somehow he cared.

But still, I knew at the back of my mind that maybe this is the end.