Affinity [h.s]

40

Hey<3 I've missed you people. Ily!

Finally Hace coming to play *shakes head*

//TW: Thoughts of self harm//

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Grace Evans

Pain;

An uncomfortable feeling. A feeling everyone experiences. Sooner or later, better or worse, real or imaginary. But they do. You have to. Because without pain, you wouldn't know relief.

The relief of the first droplets of rain on your sun burned skin after a hot scorching summer. The relief of first bite of food after starving yourself for 20 hours. The relief of laying down on the comforter after a long day of breaking your back.

And then, there's us.
We who feel relief in the pain.

That relief of your emotions flowing out through that small cut on your skin. The relief of feeling the pain to an extent that numbs the churning insides. The pain that silences every demon in your head for a little while.

The pain that provides us relief.

I sit at the edge of the bed, bent over. My elbows resting on my knees as I stare at the shining blade flipping between my fingers.

My eyes dry of any sort of tear. I was too numb to cry.

My arms already little hurt from the glass splinters from before. I've been in pain. I try to not be because I don't want to be a weak person who is hurt by everything but I am that person. And I hate it.

I've been putting on a mask for so long that I've forgotten what's underneath it.

I keep staring at the blade. I cannot do this. But my mind, it wouldn't listen.

I didn't care anymore if the cut I was planning a small one or a huge one. I wouldn't care if I bled to death right now. I wanted to give up. And maybe I will.

The angel on my shoulder Kept saying it wasn't the best idea while the devil kept stomping around with his decision of 'the sooner the better.' The Angel wanted me to fight it. She said things get better. There's always another side of pain. That I'm stronger than this.

But eventually no matter what, it came down to one question.

How much pain do you have to go through until giving up is okay?

The ringtone of my phone startles me dragging me out of the zone.

An unknown number.

"Hello?"I pick up.

"5th of never sounded like an ideal date."

Fuck. Garrett.

"Wrong number." I state.

"Hm, expected that. Well then, I hope you have a good day, Grace."

My eyes go wide in realisation. I stay silent not knowing what to say.

"Like I said, wrong number." I repeat and I'm about to hang up when he starts laughing.

"Confident, bold, a good liar, perfect match." He smiles into the phone. "Let's skip the part where you try to convince me you're not Alice or Grace."

I huff rolling my eyes keeping the blade back in my bag.

"How did you get my number?" I question straightforward.

"I have sources. You've heard, I'm not an easy person. I don't let go that easily." His voice laced in confidence.

"What do you want?"