35: Pain

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Dark watches the ice cubes inside his glass of whiskey slowly melt

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Dark watches the ice cubes inside his glass of whiskey slowly melt. He heard it’s soft clinging as he lightly shakes it in his hand before taking another sip of it. The bright moon light from outside his room is passing through the huge windows of his mansion, making the shadows of each window pane look bigger than they really are. Dark is so used in the darkness. It doesn’t supposed to even bother him anyway. But as he stares at his empty room, the absence of that soldier suddenly made him lonely. 

I’m all yours, My King. Like always.

Jieun’s voice echoed in his mind like a repeating playlist. Her voice is like a tattoo that he cannot take off his system and he didn’t expect it to be this painful. He groaned and pressed his temple with his fingers, the throbbing of his head is getting worse. He has been thinking about what he knew today and it’s more painful than he anticipated. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this. The joy he felt the moment he saw his destined mate only lasted in a while. Because it’s not enough for him to not think about the soldier who initially captured his heart.

Why does it have to be a choice between his Healer who has been his peace for the longest time and the Soldier who’s only mission is to kill him but the only one who made him feel and believe how strong love is?

It’s true. It’s too painful. And Dark, who only knew about pain finally understood how worse it actually is because that Soldier made him feel a lot of emotions not only in his heart but also in his soul. Dark felt furious, jealous, confused but most of all—or in spite of it all—he felt loved. Lisa made him feel how strong love can be and at this point, he cannot turn his back away from that anymore.

And that’s how Dark knew that he never understood pain because that’s the only thing he felt. Lisa made him realize it all. You’ll only understand pain if you know what love is. The crazy emotions she caused in his entire being cannot be changed by a destiny and a belief he knew all his life.

Lisa made him see that an Omega is not supposed to only kneel and obey an Alpha. She made him understand that she has her own choices, her own opinion and she owns her body. Just because he said so—she’ll do it. No, that’s not how it’s supposed to be. Her stubborn independence made him understand that being an Alpha won’t make her bow and kneel before him.

Jungkook also made him understand that a consent is so important and he cannot cross the line if she said so. No, it wasn’t him who marked her. She left him an impact—it’s more than just a mark and that’s what made him fall deeper in love with her.

You don’t have to bear it all, Dark. Light’s voice echoed in his head. Talk to me.

Shut up, Light. I am made of pain, I think you forgot about that. Now just shut the hell up while I consume this fucking pain. I have survived it before and I will again. Dark answered and sips on his glass of whiskey.

I love her. Lisa. Light whispered but even though he don’t say that, Dark feels it too. That’s why it’s fucking painful. It’s heavy, it’s miserable, it’s excruciating and all he could think of is to lay beside that soldier and just forget about everything. He wants to drown in her scent and taste her blood even though he’s not supposed to.

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