Settle Down // Irwin

45

Ashton stops at the bottom of the stairs. He runs a hand through his hair and drop his head. He slowly leans his shoulder against the wall and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He felt tired and a little bit sick.

Lauren was upstairs in Jade's bed. Harry was supposed to be in the spare room but he got scared and wanted to sleep in beside Lauren. Ashton wasn't going to say no to that, obviously. He had finally gotten them to sleep, or they were really good at faking.

It has been a hard night for all three of them and Ashton couldn't believe he had actually done this to Jade. He had actually just showed up at her door, two crying kids and asking for her help to hide his car. He was surprised she didn't just shut the door in his face because he was so... rude about it.

She opened the door and literally the only thing he said was. "Help me hide my car." Then he kinda shoved Harry and Lauren inside.

He felt bad but he was just happy they were in a safe place. Jade kept trying to ask him what happened. It was Lauren who actually told her. Ashton was still trying to look after Harry by this point.

Now all Ashton wanted to do was go into the living room and cuddle into Jade and kiss her all over and tell her how much he loves her. So that's what he does.

Jade was clearly away the plates of food she made for them from the coffee table when Ashton bursts in through the door.

Jade turns and gives him a small smile. "Are they-?" Before Jade can finish the sentence Ashton takes the plates off her and puts them back on the coffee table.

"I love you." He says before wrapping his arms around Jade and pressing their lips together. "I love you." He says again and Jade wraps her arms around his neck.

"I love you too." She mumbles against his lips.

Ashton licks along her lips, making her part them and soon his tongue his around hers. Ashton then puts his hands to her waist.

This was making him feel better. It was making him forget all about what had happened tonight. He was finally beginning to forget. Jade was making it all better. Just being near her was making it all better.

"Ash," She said breathlessly against his lips. Ashton knew she wanted to talk but he didn't want to. This was much better than talking.

Ashton put their lips back together again, tightly squeezing his eyes closed and walking them backwards. He landed on the couch. Their lips parted as Ashton fell back. Ashton could see that Jade wanted to talk again so he softly tugged on her arm before she landed on his lap and he placed his lips back on hers.

"Ashton." Jade said again but Ashton just ignored her. He didn't want to force her into anything, he just wanted to make her understand he didn't want to talk. This was the easiest way not to talk.

Ashton brought his hands to the top button of Jade's blue and white flannel, beginning to fumble with it. He got to the third one down, he could see Jade's bra, and all of a sudden his hands went numb. He couldn't get the button undone. He just couldn't.

"Ashton." Jade said softly, pulling away.

"I'll get it, don't worry." Ashton said quietly, putting his full focus on the button. He avoided Jade's gaze and just completely focused on the button.

"Ash?" Jade put a finger under his chin, trying to bring his head up. But he was still. "Please look."

"No, I can do it." Ashton kept fumbling about.

"Leave the button." Jade cupped his face.

"I can do it." Ashton says again, his vision was beginning to blur, his eyelids getting heavy. "I can do it."

"Ashton." Jade says more forcefully, and he finally looked at her. "Leave the button."

"I-I c-can..." Ashton mumbles and stutters, looking from Jade to the button. She knew he wasn't fine and he could tell by the way she was looking at him that she knew this and he hated that she knew. He hated that. He didn't hate that Jade could see his feelings, it was more the fact he was the boyfriend and he was the strong one. But right now, he wasn't the strong one.

"I can't do it." Ashton gives up on the button and sobs out. His forehead crashes into Jade's chest and his grip on her tightens around her waist. She caresses his face with her right hand and rubs his back with the other.

"It's going to be okay, Ashton." Jade kisses the top of his head. "We can work this out."

"I can't do it." Ashton shakes his head. "I can't take care of them by myself."

"I'm here. You aren't by yourself." Jade wipes the tears off his cheeks. "Please stay here with me and I'll help you."

Ashton shakes his head and pulls back. "I can't ask you to do that."

"Well I'm not asking for your permission." Jade tells him bluntly. "I am telling you that is what is happening."

"Your mom..." Ashton says slowly.

"Will have to deal with it." Jade replies back. "She will understand." Jade's tone was a lot more soft that time.

"Jade," Ashton sighs and cuddles Jade into him more. She doesn't protest.

"Ash," She looks up at him with her big eyes.

"I'm not like him." Ashton says quietly. "You know that right?"

"Like-?" Jade was going to ask like who but then she realized. He meant like his dad. "I know Ashton." Jade kisses him slowly and pulls back, wiping his cheeks again. He was still crying, but not sobbing, which was better. "I know."

"I would never do that to you." Ashton tells her, rocking her back and forth. Even though he is the one crying he still feels the need to comfort Jade. "And if we have kids I would never hurt them. I won't ever lay a hand on you or anyone. And if I do just leave okay?"

"Ashton you aren't going to do that though." Jade says.

"But if I do." Ashton sort of ignores her. "If I do just leave."

"Ashton..." Jade wants to tell him again he would never do that but he just stares deep into her eyes.

"Promise me you will leave me."

Jade stares at Ashton for a long time. She doesn't want to agree because she feels like that means she is saying to Ashton that she thinks he will hit her. But her won't give up unless she does.

"I promise."

Ashton lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Thank you."

"Now promise me you will stay with me." Jade says. "Until you are certain you have somewhere else to go you are staying with me. All of you are. Promise me."

"I promise." Ashton says back almost immediately and kissing Jade.

His tears are gone now. Maybe talking about it wasn't that bad.

"Ashton," Jade pulls back.

"Yeah?" He stares up at her.

"I love you."

Ashton smiles at Jade before pulling her face down to his again. He presses their lips together for a long, sweet, passionate kiss before he leans away.

"I love you too."