Enemy Lines (completed)

20

"Can I say what I need to say without fear of punishment?"

"Yes. Whatever you tell me remains in confidence."

"Okay well a couple months ago me and my long term girlfriend broke up. Normally I wouldn't care because so what we weren't going anywhere. But after the break up instead of us just going our diffrent ways she started making up all these things about me and shaming me. To the point where even my whole family was questioning my morales. Even my own fucking sister took her side!"

"Did you ever reach out to one of the girls on the team?"

"I tried but none of them took it too seriously they just thought I was pissed about the break up."

"If you don't mind me asking why did you two break up."

"It was abusive. Verbally berating me about everything, mentally telling me I would never amount to anything and I had already peaked, saying that I was worthless and shit like that."

"Did it ever get physically abusive?"

"Yeah a couple times. The last one was bad she had choked me out and gave me a concussion. She left on a trip for the weekend so I just packed all my shit and left and bunked with a teammates so if she tried to find me I wouldn't be there."

"Do any of the girls know?"

"I tried to talk to a few of them but all it then knew Alexis and they just made excuses for her. We alway say this team is like a family but they all either thought it was a joke or I was exaggerating."

"I see. Have you ever made a joke about domestic abuse before then?"

"No i make some borderline PC jokes but I would never poke fun at something that serious."

"Okay. Well I just want you to know that I've got your back. I've struggled with addiction, mental manipulation from both spouse and family. Would you say you are reliant on alcohol or drugs?" I question.

"Well this job makes it impossible for me to be reliant on drugs as one failed drug test I get my contract terminated and lose the right to play for my country for 2 years. But alcohol has really been the only thing that keeps me going."

"Okay. Can I tell you my story. So you can understand where I'm coming from  as I'm becoming sober."

"Sure."

I almost sign in relief as finally someone knows. Tobin knows but it's just so freeing for people to listen while you talk about what you've overcome. "You know about my knee injury but before I hurt my knee I was addicted to Cocaine. While it was expensive it didn't have that many physical side effects. I mean your pupils would dilate, you would get skittish, as we'll lose weight. But besides that I mean your eyes wouldn't get red, your teeth wouldn't turn yellow and rot, or any of the other symptoms do hard drugs. It was easy to hid and do. Well after I tore my knee they gave me probably 4 different types of pain meds. I was 17/18 with little parental supervision as my parents were trying to pay of the medical bills. It was bound to fail and not even a month in I was addicted. I would just pop one and chill for about 4 hours then pop another one. It was great until one day one of my friends had planned to come over. I lost track of time and ended up passing out in the hallway. I had left the door unlocked and that person found me on the floor. Doctors tell me that if she would've arrived even 5 minutes later I would've even dead. After my first OD'd I went back to them.  I OD'd one more time in a mall bathroom in Kansas. That day my dad died . I had missed the original call from my mom because I was high. I went to rehab and promised myself I would stay sober. I did a 6 month in patient program before switching to an out patient program. Now I won't even take an Advil. But all I have to say is that sobering up is a bitch but sobering up also might be one of best things. The one issue I ran into was right after I had gotten out of rehab I got in a very serious relationship with a cheating spouse. So I had to be the rock for the family while battling an addiction was hard and most nights she wasn't there so I had to take care of the kids and I had to do all this, then I would get screamed at because I didn't do something right. I'm truly surprised I stayed sober." I say finally being 100% honest about everything.

"Wow." Kelley breathes out.

"And this isn't a pissing contest of who has the worst trauma. This is me saying I've been in your shoes and look at me I have a good job, 2 great children, I'm happy, I'm doing good. The one thing about addiction that non-addicted recognize is that the fight doesn't end after you get out the facility or rehab the fight starts in the morning and doesn't stop until the next morning. I still will wake up some times in the middle of the night just craving a gram or so."

"I would've never guessed that."

"If you don't mind me asking did Alexis know any of the girls before she started dating you?"

" no we met through a mutual friend who I went to high school with and we still keep in touch."

"Ok. How much do you think you drink per night?" I try to gauge how bad the addiction is.

"Probably 6 to 8."

"Okay well then let's take it slow. Do you want to get sober?"

"Yes."

"Okay because it doesn't matter how much I want you to get sober if you don't want to kick it."

"No I can see how it affects me."

"Then we cut it back to 4 a Night. We start out slow and just very slowly ease you off of it so it's not like a slap in the face."

"But I don't think I can control only having 4. I drink until I pass out."

"Then have someone monitor you. Do you have anyone on this team who is always here for you no matter what?"

"Yeah Becky."

"Does she know about Alexis and all this?"

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Double update since I can't sleep.

Also all this shit is edited on my phone so sorry for mistakes.