Enemy Lines (completed)

23

"To answer Ashlyn's question. The reason I don't use painkillers is because I was heavily addicted to them. But I didn't start out with pills. I used Cocaine for probably 2 years before that. After my knee injury they had me on 4 different types of painkillers and I was 17-18. My parents were working their tail off to pay off the medical bills. Leaving me alone for days at a time. So little parental supervision and to add on to that a kid with a history in drug abuse didn't mix well. A friend of mine had actually found me passed out in the hallway of my apartment. I had taken one to many pills and mixed them with cocaine and a little bit of alcohol. Nurses tell me that if she would've arrived not even 3 minutes later I probably would've been dead. But after my first OD I didn't get clean. I did the 2 week mandatory detox but as soon as I got out my family turned their backs on me. I was also still battling the knee injury. My who life fell apart in a matter of weeks, I was told I would never play sports again, I might not be able to walk without assistance for the rest of my life, and then my family turned their backs to me. They kept prescribing me the pills and I kept popping them. I never truly got clean until my second OD. I was in a mall and just sold over 2 grand in Addy so I thought why not celebrate so I took a couple too many and passed out on the floor. This one women who was a doctor or a nurse or something found me and saved my life. But it wasn't the second OD that got me sober my father had passed. I had actually missed the call where she told me that if I wanted to see him I should come to the hospital. When I was resuscitated she had actually called me again telling me he had passed. So from the day I was released from the hospital I promised myself I would get sober and stay sober for him. I signed myself into a 6 month in-patient facility and then an out patient program. Getting sober was the easy part. The one thing they don't warn you about getting sober is that the fight never stops. I still wake up at 2 am craving for even half a gram or one pill. But the hardest thing for me is that almost immeadeitly after getting out of in patient I met a girl and then got married to her. The only issue is she cheated like the Astros in the world series I mean almost every day. Then after cheating on me would come home and complain about everything I did wrong while I was working 2 jobs, took care of her kids, and tried to stay on top of everything. I'm so surprised I stayed sober. I truly believe that if I wasn't taking care of Brett and Ansley I would be dead." No one can utter a word as I take the a seat since my knee is killing me.

Finally Ali breaks the silence. "What do you do to combat the urges?"

"I workout. It's the only place I can truly shut off my mind."

"Did you ever relapse?"

"I almost did and I told my consular the next day. She gave me the piece of advice. She literally told me leave this town. I don't care if you leave the state but move away from this town. Your dealer lives here, all your friends live here. All you will do is fall back into your old habits. And I did the next day I told my wife that I had to move for my job. She believed it and we moved to Winston."

I can see Mal dying to say something. "Hey Mal ask your question it won't offend me."

"Why drugs?"

"I was always taught to deal with you pain in silence. If it wasn't broke, or I wasn't bleeding to death I was to patch it myself. My father always told me I would only go to league if I played every game since I was a women I was at a severe disadvantage. And so I did. But after so many injuries that never healed I was in constant pain. So I spoke to one of the seniors on the team about how he dealt with his pain and he told me coke. You could functions decently on it, no physical tells, have you a performance boost. It sounded great."

"What happened to him?" Mal questions again.

"His tolerance for coke got to high and he had little money so he switched to H, sorry herion it was cheap, fucked you up for a good while and you usually slept off the after high. He just got a bad batch that was laced and died."

"How old was he when he passed?" Christen questions.

"He was 29. I was 25."

"He have family?"

"Yeah he had 3 kids and a great wife. Man she was probably the nicest women I've ever met. She just got too caught up in trying to fix someone who didn't want to change."

"What was her name?" Tobin questions.

"Alexander Olivia Smith-Johnson."

"Did you know her?"

"Yeah me and her were friends for s while. She helped me pass. We also played soccer together, she was my Center Back."

"How is she doing now?" Becky asks.

"She just got remarried about one year ago to this dude Travis Sternback me and him played baseball together. Good man. They just recently moved out to Montana with her three kids and their 2. Bought about 100 acres and as far as I know are running a cattle ranch."

"Wow."

"Yeah She was a good kid. Smart."

"What did you do to get into Fitness?" Julie questions.

"I played sports all my life I lived in the weight room. After my injury we started PT but my knee was so weak they thought I would only be able to walk with a walker at most so they started building up the strength in my arms. One thing lead to another and I went to the gym all the time to clear my head."

"I wouldn't even know what to do if I couldn't play soccer anymore?" Julie offer sup causing the others to nod.

"The good thing was. I was young and I already had a good job. But if I was a pro athlete and got injured that bad I probably would've OD'd."

"Didn't you already do that?" Megan jokes.

I don't laugh, the whole room gets silent. Before Carli can rip her a new one I step in. "Yeah. The first attempt I'm pretty sure I was trying to end my life. The second OD I truly believe I was just trying to get high. With pill your tolerance gets so high, so quick that after a couple months of avid use you just grab a handful and pray you get the high without killing your self."

"Ight."

"Look Megan do you know anyone who is a true addict?"

"Yeah my brother. He's doing time right now."

"Okay. Well all I have to say since this is your personal life is no matter how hard you are on him or how mad you are at him. I can Guaran-dame-tee you that he is harder on himself that he has missed the big achievements in your life."

"Whatever can I leave?"

"Yes everyone is dismissed. Now I have a movie to watch with a kids since I promised them. If you ever need me hit up my line and I will make sure personally that you are ok." With that said I exit the room and head up to mine at a snails pace.

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Shit boutta get spicy.