Make Me (Remdy)

We All Deserve To Be Celebrated

Trigger warnings: Mentions of death, car accidents

Remington being a sweetheart 

Remington would never say, but the idea of travelling on a bus down busy motorways in the middle of the night couldn't scare him more if he tried. He's barely gotten over his fear of just sitting in a car without beginning to shake and fret and worry that someone might plow him down, might crash into the vehicle and send it flying. 

But he would never say that, not to Shy, not to anyone. And certainly not to Andy. 

Rehearsals for the tour go fine. Remington pushes the fear to the back of his mind, and if it threatens to cause any issues, he reminds himself forcefully that it's stupid to be scared of roads, and that just because his brothers were killed doesn't mean he will be, too. 

He and Andy go out regularly. For meals, for walks, for anything. Because they may bot admit it, may not say it out loud, but being with each other makes them forget, for the time being, about their loss, their heartbreak, their tragic lives. They feels understood, safe. 

Tonight is no different. Andy takes Remington to the stake house and they share a bottle of wine. He asks how the younger is, how his brothers are, because he knows being asked makes Remington feel listened to, because even though they're dead, acknowledging them as though they're not makes it feel less real, and Remington needs that. He needs it to not feel real, to not be real. 

"They're fine," he answers, stabbing a roasted carrot with his fork. "Emerson's flowers are dying, though. I need to get some new ones soon." 

Andy tops their glasses up from the bottle on the table. "You'd be a great gardener," he says. 

Remington rolls his eyes. "I wouldn't. I don't know shit about anything. I just like flowers and they did, too, so..."

"I get it," Andy assures. "I'll come to the garden center with you some day if you like." 

"Oh, cool. Thanks." He smiles. "And how's Lucas?" 

"He's four today." Andy's tone sinks when he says this. "I wanted to have a little party or something for him, y'know? Like last year, me and Juliet baked a cake and stuff. But she didn't want to this year, and now we're separated, I don't really know what to do. It kinda feels like she took him with her. Like...she knows where he's scattered and I don't." 

Remington frowns. "I'm sorry. That's not fair. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't throw a birthday party for Emerson, and I will for Sebastian, too, when it's his birthday." 

"It's important to celebrate them," Andy agrees. 

"Yes. And if I didn't, it'd be so sad, I think I'd die. It's not right to pretend they never lived." 

"No, not at all. It's so disrespectful." 

Remington nods. "Exactly." 

Andy sighs. "But it doesn't really matter, I guess. He was only a baby when he died, it's not the same." 

"Don't say that, it's still important. He's your son. Of course it's important." 

After dinner, they walk back to Andy's place, and Andy lets Remington stay the night in the spare bedroom. 

Remington goes to bed but doesn't sleep. He's up thinking about Lucas, about his un-celebrated birthday, about how sad Andy seemed about it. And while Andy may be a bit of a dickhead most of the time, he still deserves to remember his son, to feel that he isn't being forgotten, ignored. Lucas is just as important as Emerson and as Sebastian and Remington knows that. 

Instead of sleeping, the boy leaves the house without waking Andy, walking in the dark to a twenty-four-hour store and buying a 'Four Today!' card, a packet of balloons, birthday confetti, and a iced cake with the words 'birthday boy' written in fondant. He takes it all back to Andy's and quietly decorates the kitchen with the confetti and the balloons, writing in the card and standing it on the table beside the cake, which he carefully presents on a large plate. 

Then, Remington ascends the stairs and opens Andy's door. "Hey," he says. "Andy, hey. Wake up." 

The man does. He squints. "What?" He asks, worrying something is wrong. 

"I wanna show you something." 

"Okay? What is it?" 

Remington turns the light on. "Come down and see. You'll like it." 

Andy rubs his eyes before getting out of bed and following the younger down the stairs. He steps into the kitchen behind Remington and his eyes fill with tears. "Oh," he whispers. "You did this?" 

"Of course," Remington says quietly. "Because he deserves to be celebrated, even in the middle of the night." 

Andy picks up the card and reads it

Happy birthday, Lucas! I hope you have a beautiful time with the angels, you're so special. Remington x

"You didn't have to," Andy mumbles, putting it down and looking at the cake. "I don't know what to say. No one's ever done anything like this for me before." 

"You don't need to say anything, Andy. You just need to remember him. You both deserve that." 

Andy sits down and wipes his eyes. "Thank you," he says. "This means so much." 

Remington smiles and sits beside him. "You're welcome." 

"D'you want a slice?" 

"Sure." 

They eat the cake together, after singing happy birthday, and when they're done, Andy puts it in the fridge and looks at the card again before finding a pen and adding to what Remington wrote inside: 

Happy birthday, little man. I love you always. 
Daddy 

He draws a little heart and puts it back on the table. Remington hugs him and then they go back to bed, and Andy can't remember the last time someone has cared enough to sacrifice a night for him in such a way.