Stupid - Part 1

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Caregivers : Changbin, Felix
Little : Seungmin

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a/n

Bring some snacks because this one is long :]

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3rd POV

Stupid. He had been stupid to think they would accept him. Stupid to think they would still love him after he confessed. Of course they wouldn't. Of course they would be disgusted. They all just stared at him with a strange expression and the only thing he could believe was that they were disgusted, disappointed. Maybe they wouldn't want him anymore. Maybe he'd have to quit the team. They'd probably kick him out. Yes that was it. He'd have to quit the only family he felt safe with. Maybe they didn't even love him to begin with, just pretending and waiting until he'd make a mistake to kick him out. They were better off without him anyways. He didn't do much in the team ; he wasn't the best dancer, he didn't rap and Jisung and Jeongin could easily fill in the vocals. They didn't need him. His eyes started to water.

"S-sorry"

He bowed and quickly escaped to his room. Finding a big bag in his closet, he threw it on his bed. Inside it, he placed all his necessities, packing the most clothes he could. He ran to the bathroom to grab his toothbrush and pushed it into his bag once back in the room. Finally, he took, from under his bed, his box of little stuff. He struggled to push it into the sport bag but once he did, he zipped it up and hid it under his bed. He got under the covers and cried himself to sleep.

When he woke up again, it was the middle of the night. He looked around to see his roommates still asleep. He smiled sadly and grabbed the bag he had prepared before exiting the room and soon the dorm after putting on a pair of shoes. Honestly, he had no idea where to go. The only place he could think of was the JYPE building so he walked slowly towards it as he felt tears sting his eyes yet again. He felt so weak and so, so stupid. How could he be so stupid. After months of hiding his little side, Seungmin had learned to know the members and he thought it was time to tell them the truth, because he believed, no, he wished with all his heart they would accept him, but now he had ruined everything. Not for them, they were probably happy that they had a reason for him to leave. Seungmin him, had ruined everything for himself. He stopped at the corner of a street, sitting down on his bag, he sobbed onto his hands. Softly, he didn't want anyone to hear. He couldn't help but think everything was his fault. If he could've just been normal, maybe no one would have abandoned him, maybe people would've loved him. But no, he had to be weird and disgust everyone around him. He cried harder, but forced himself to get up and continued to walk towards the building.

~ five hours prior - Seungmin's coming out ~

The group was all seated in the living room, some on the couch, some on the floor and they all looked at a nervous Seungmin in front of them, waiting for him to say something. It was him who gattered them there. He cleared his throat.

"I-I have something to tell you guys. I trust you and I hope you can accept me after this"

The boys frowned, not understanding what could make them despise Seungmin. They waited for him to go on.

"There's something I do, when I'm stressed, I-"

He took a deep breath.

"I regressed to a younger age, it's called little space. It helps me forget my worries as I start to think l-like a toddler"

He finished his speech before quickly looking at the ground to wait for an answer, any answer from his teammates. Although it never came and that's when he started to over think. He glanced at them only once and seeing as they were all staring at him weirdly, he immediately took it as disgust. In Felix's head though, it was another story. After his coming out, Felix had to contain himself from cooing and babying the younger already. He thought of how he would love to meet little Seungmin and take care of him. Still, he didn't say anything, waiting for the others to speak up before him. In Changbin's head, the same process was happening and he did want to speak, he just didn't know how without sounding cheesy or scare off the younger. He wanted to reassure him by saying they would always be here for him, but he also wanted to tell him he was probably so cute into the mindset of a child. All his thoughts were mixing together and he couldn't bring himself to say anything. Then Seungmin apologized and ran to his room and both Felix and Changbin looked at him go, heartbroken and feeling stupid for not speaking up. They wanted to go and talk to him now, but Chan stopped them.

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