Stay ≫ Jack Gilinsky

chapter fourty one - sorry

Have you ever had a headache so bad that you literally would rather jump off a fifty story drop than have to endure any more of the agony.

Same.

I'm lying on Sammy's bed looking at the ceiling whilst the others are talking about something I can't quite keep up with.

"Sarah I swear to god if you fall asleep" Hayes murmurs.

I shake my head but can't think of the words to say from all of the banging going on inside my head. It's like the musical stomp is doing a personal appearance in my brain.

"I'll be back" I mumble as I shuffle out the room.

I go back to my room and head straight to the bathroom. I strip down and fold up the clothes I seem to have been wearing for years.

I try taking a long relaxing shower but knowing me, I get bored after washing my hair and shaving my legs so I decide to get out.

I change into pijamas, jump on to my bed and start scrolling through twitter.

Surprisingly, there aren't as many comments about todays incident as I had expected, thank goodness.

My eyes slowly become heavier and I realise it's only been two hours since the doctor told me I had to be awake for four.

Great.

Instead of going back into Sammy's room and socialising I decide to get some fresh air.

I leave the room quietly so the others don't hear me and make my way towards the elevator.

Once the elevator arrives and I step in, I notice a button a different colour from the rest, labelled 'roof'.

I remember Jack taking me up there and decide to revisit it because it's almost sun set and I assume the view will be nice.

The elevator doesn't move when I press the button and I assume it has something to do with the key hole beside it and with my lack of such key I take the elevator to the highest possible floor before getting out and walking up a flight of stairs and opening the heavy metal door to the roof.

I instantly feel calm as soon as I walk down the steps to the roof.

The sky is a captivating shade of pinky blue and I don't know if it's the medication or the view but I feel at peace.

I walk to the edge and lie down, taking a second to close my eyes and breathe.

Followed by me quickly opening them to ensure I didn't fall asleep.

An hour goes by and I hear the sound of the heavy door opening behind me.

"Shit" I mutter, not wanting to get caught.

I jump to my feet and instantly regret it because it causes my head to spin.

I spin around yet again to be faced with someone who's presence I have been pushing to the back of my mind since I woke up.

His tanned skin suddenly becomes pale at the sight of me.

"H-hi" he mumbles.

Every fibre of my being wants to slap him across the face but I decide to put the situation into perspective.

From his point of view: we flirted, went on a date, flirted some more and then I got sucker-punched to the floor.

I decide to pretend like his presence doesn't bother me as much as it does.

But don't get me wrong, I'm not prepared to hold hands and run of into the distance.

"Y-youre f-face" he mutters.

I look at him questioningly before realising that he's talking about my split lip.

I nod and give him a dismissive look.

"Look I'm sorry"

"It's fine, I don't car-" I mumble before trying to slip past him.

My attempts fail as he grabs my arm and spins me around, making my head ache yet again.

I wiggle free from his grip and hold my head in my palm.

I look over the edge of the building to avoid his gaze.

Maybe that fifty story drop isn't looking so bad after all.

"Shit, I'm sorry" he pulls back.

I have to admit, behind all the physical pain, it is quite amusing to see Jack this flustered.

"I took my sweatshirt when I carried you out" he mumbles.

"Oh did you?" I lie.

"Um yeah, I assumed you wouldn't want it anymore"

I don't know what to say so I just nod.

There is an awkward silence and I'm planning out my escape when he begins to speak.

"I wasn't always like this you know"

I look up at him but he stares off into the distance.

Dramatic.

"I used to be scared to talk to girls, could never think of the right thing to say"

He pasues, "then I met this girl"

Natascha.

"Things um, ended badly.. for both of us"

I wriggle with uncomfort at the fact that I know exactly what and who he's talking about.

"After that I didn't think it would be possible to ever see anything in anyone like I saw in her. Then you came along."

My heart practically leaps out of my chest and my head spins in a different way than before.

"I'm not going to make up some crap about how you've changed my life or anything but you're just so, different.. You know how to handle yourself but there are also little hidden insecurities which you don't think anyone else notices. For example, you're stomach. You suck it in everytime you walk on stage or take photos with fans, I don't know why because you don't need too. Or the way you stand around people people, you slouch and part your legs slightly to seem smaller and you cross your arms over your waist to hide yourself more"

I'm sure whether or not I am breathing at this point, my eyes are glued to his face and his are still set somewhere off in the distance.

That is, until, he looks directly at me.

"You're gorgeous and you can't even see it"

He looks away again and my heart momentarily melts.

"That's why I was too embarrased to say anything to those girls earlier because they were right. These past few months haven't been my finest and I knew that the girls were right and in all honesty I was ashamed"

I look down to my hands, it all makes sense.

"I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend, but will you give be a second chance?"

He looks at me with so much hope in his eyes, enough to make my knees weak and my palms sweaty.

"Well if I recall, it would be your third chance"

He laughs, a sight I had actually missed.

"Oh Sarah, what are you doing to me"

***

author's note:

#fxckgilinskyasshole