Stay ≫ Jack Gilinsky

chapter fourty eight - personality

He pats the space next to him but I sit on the opposite side of the mattress.

He frowns and I chuckle.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything"

"I'm pretty boring"

"Doubt it"

"Well, my name's Sarah.."

"-yeah I figured thanks" he laughs.

There are a couple moments of silence before Jack randomly speaks.

"Do you don't believe in love at first sight?" he blurts.

"Um.. not really, I believe you can be physically attracted to someone when you first see them, which makes you want to get to know them which can result in you also taking a liking to their other attributes but you can't be in love with someone when you first see them"

"Right" he mutters.

"Have you ever told anyone you loved them?" he asks.

Something twitches inside of me.

"No" I say bluntly but truthfully.

"Okay, I guess I'll get the ball rolling on this one to lighten up the mood" he says in a happier tone

"My name is Jack Finnegan Gilinsky and I'm a butt guy"

"Woah, too much information, Finnegan" I laugh.

"Laugh all you want, it's a pretty badass middle name" he leans back in confidence.

"Well, I'm Sarah and I'm a personality girl" I smile.

"Bullshit" he laughs evilly.

"It's true, some people actually aren't as shallow as you" I try to sound light and funny but Jack's body language shows that it's not received as a joke.

"Shallow? Oh please, don't act like you'd date an ugly ass nice kid"

"Okay, I do have standards for looks, however my standards for personality are much higher" I state confidently and Jack nods slowly.

"If a guy that takes care of himself, but isn't necessarily the captain of the football team, has an amazing personality - he wins over a hot jerk"

I realise how ironic it is that I'm saying all these things when I clearly have a slight attraction to Jack, him being a jerk.

Maybe it's just my conscious trying to convince me that he's not right for me; maybe he just isn't.

"So what you want a guy to take care of you?"

"Not at all, I can take care of myself"

"That's what you think" he says.

"I'm just saying, personality is hot" I shrug.

"Well then I think you're out of luck" he mumbles.

"Oh, are you calling yourself hot?" I argue.

"I'm calling myself a jerk, Sarah" he yells.

He takes a moment, "you can't say all that shit to me when you like me, you clearly know that the guy who takes care of himself is barely doing a good job of that. If I can't control myself snd my anger how do you expect me to be good enough for you"

I'm taken back by his outrage. I move slightly over to the other side of the mattress.

"You're scared" he mumbles, almost like a question.

"You didn't need to yell" I state, sounding more confident then ever.

"I'm not the guy you think I am Sarah, I never will be" he says and gets up from his place.

I don't think he's ever said my name this many times at once, I didn't mean to upset him.

"I've been trying so fucking hard to be someone else for you, I don't even know why" he yells again.

"Not according to certain people, apparently giving girls your sweaters is your signature move" I raise my voice back at him.

"Who told you.." his voice trails off.

He chuckles, "you know what, you're just like every other girl"

I'm fighting the urge to let my mouth drop to the floor.

"I highly doubt I am whatsoever related to any girl that you are associated with. If I were anything like those girls, I'd be three months pregnant with your child by now" I get up off the floor and turn to him.

"See Sarah, you're exactly like them. You hint at these things about personality and being nice, in hope to change me. Well guess what, I don't care enough to change. I'm always going to be like this"

His tone is almost a cry for help.

"That's not true" I mumble and he laughs again.

"You're so naive"

"I'm not like this, I'm not going to grow old with someone and settle down"

"Nobody even mentioned settling down Jack, you're being dramatic"

"No Sarah, I'm not - I don't want to be your boyfriend, I don't want anything" He yells at the top of his lungs.

"I thought you were hot but you were so fucking prude that I knew it would take more to get in to your pants, but you're not even worth it"

I stare at him in disbelief "I'm not some sex toy" I yell.

"Clearly" he barks.

"You're just some stuck up spoiled kid"

Why does he keep calling me spoiled?

"Get out" I yell.

He narrows his eyes at me, something flickers in me as I remember all the previous occasions he has done so to me.

"I'd love nothing more" he chuckles and slams the door.

Once I hear his footsteps disappear, I slam my head against the pillow.

I've never felt so stupid, he's just like all the others.