Stay With Me - Yeongyu FF

Chapter 53 - Final moments

Yeonjun POV

I have issues sleeping the nights before Thursday. I go to the hospital, probably looking half-dead, but I try to seem as happy as possible to not worry Beomgyu. His mother is already there, his brother too. They're just talking to him, not expecting an answer, nor a movement. She sees me and tells me to come in. We're all on our guards. We spend the day with him, even his brother ignores a few calls from work. By 9 P.M, his mother goes to see a nurse to ask if she can stay the night. The nurse says it's going to be tricky, because he's going to want to stay awake, but if he does die in the night, the pain in his lungs will probably be unbearable if he is awake. We all agree. I can't imagine what it's like, being suddenly blocked, unable to get any air. The nurses give Beomgyu a sleeping pill, and we head out of the room. The nurse that told us to leave says we can come here as early as 6am if we want to see him, and Beomgyu's mother says she'll be there. I will too, but Beomgyu's brother says he can't, and asks his mother to call him, to tell him if something happens. I never saw Beomgyu's brother, but he seemed pretty neutral all day. Yet right now, he seems desperate. It seems reality struck him, just like it dawned on all of us. His mother says she will if she has the strength to. He understands. I go back home, but can't sleep yet again. Mom says I should take a sleeping pill, because she thinks I'm not getting enough sleep, and even mentions dying of exhaustion. My heart tells me that it wouldn't be so bad, but my brain knows it would be, at least for Mom, but I still refuse to take a pill, letting fate decide whether I deserve to stay with Beomgyu or need to learn to live without him.

I don't get a minute of sleep. At 6 A.M, I get out of bed and go to the hospital. I join Beomgyu's mother, who was just beside the entrance, too nervous about whatever she'll face to enter. I put my hand on her shoulder, telling her that I'm here. She gives a little laugh, and says she sometimes feels like I'm her first born son and not Beomgyu's brother.

"No, that would make my relationship with your son incest" I reply. She laughs and releases some tension, enough for us to make our way to Beomgyu's room.

Once we arrive, we see Beomgyu laying on his side, facing us with his eyes closed. He seems to be asleep. The room's cardiometer wasn't clipped on him and was turned off, which gave both of us a bad feeling, but we didn't dare grab his wrist to check his heartbeat. A doctor then entered the room, not looking particularly nervous about Beomgyu's situation. He looks at the cardiometer and tells us that, when Beomgyu could still speak, he'd asked that they turn this off during the night because he had trouble falling asleep with it. Once he grabs the first sticker, we both see the doctor's hand shake. He looks at the two of us before sticking it on Beomgyu's chest. He grabs the other sticker and places it, but stops with his hand on the switch.

"This is hard, even for us" he says, hesitating to turn the cardiometer on, taking a few looks at Beomgyu's wrist, as if wanting to check it alone first to see what news he'll have to break.

Beomgyu's mother gestures towards his wrist: "Go ahead"

The doctor lets go of the cardiometer and slowly walks over to Beomgyu. He delicately takes his wrist, and with a shaking hand, places his index and middle fingers on the inside of it. He stays there for 15 seconds, the time you should wait when counting your own heartbeat, which makes his mother and I think that he is still alive. The doctor lets him go, without telling us anything, and goes to the cardiometer.

He takes a deep, shaking breath. We take one too, Beomgyu's mother taking hitched breaths as tears filled her eyes. I try to stay strong, knowing that if I weaken, I'll go find the nearest knife and... You know.

His hand rests on the switch, he's still not pulling it upwards, and we can't tell if he's trying to scare us or if he is serious, but we can't tell if we're thinking he's joking because we won't admit the truth to ourselves or if it is actually a joke.

"I'll... stop beating around the bush" he says, as he lifts the switch.

I instantly cover my ears and close my eyes, not wanting to know the answer. I feel Beomgyu's mother holding herself on my shoulder.

"Be strong" I think to myself as I open my eyes, not taking my hands off my ears.

There it is.

The endless, red line, the numbers showing 0 everywhere.

I remove my hands from my ears and hear the long beep of the machine. I'm shaking like crazy.

I look down at Beomgyu. He seems so peaceful, the pill worked.

He is surely in a better place now, without the wheelchair, slurs, sudden fatigue.

I take a deep breath. It feels weird. To me, he's still here. For now, because in an hour I'll realise the truth and...

What do I do now?

I don't know what to do.

I want to join him.

Maybe... Maybe I should.

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That was the final chapter

This was actually really painful, proofreading was hard.

I think most of you might have noticed Yeonjun's character's reactions to Beomgyu's character's death in this chapter and the one before, so you probably see where this is going.

I have prepared an epilogue that will give you what I think is the best way I could've ended this story by keeping the legitimacy of an incurable disease.