Stay With Me - Yeongyu FF

Chapter 19

Beomgyu POV

I hear Dr. Jeon speak to 'Ma and I know I should listen, but I don't want to, because I know what's happening to me.

I'm entering that horrid phase of ALS.

The phase where every symptom is constantly showing and everyone who knows what ALS is knows I'm sick.

Dr. Jeon finishes his medical speech with my mother and turns to me.

"So be careful with what you do. I don't mind you going out with Yeonjun and all, but don't go out too much"

I nod, tears welling in my eyes, blurring my vision, as I follow 'Ma to the parking lot.

Once we leave the hospital, I truly start crying. My sobs, hiccups and cries echo in the car as I cry like a three-year-old, cursing my body for being sick. Cursing myself for not being careful.

But most importantly, I curse this world for giving me Yeonjun.

When I had my first diagnosis, I was still suffering from the death of my father and all the shitty things I've done to the people around me. I didn't mind having a deadly illness ending my life for me. Now I have Yeonjun, and all of a sudden, I wish a cure existed. I never thought I'd curse Yeonjun's existence, because he doesn't deserve it.

I should even be apologizing to him for giving him such a short-term relationship.

Once we're home, 'Ma proposes to invite Yeonjun over and tell him everything, but I don't feel like talking to him. I know it's rude, but I don't want him to know the truth just yet, because I don't want to accept it myself.

That evening, I still feel gloomy and sad. The tears from the news tire me and make me dose off often, but I try to stay awake. 'Ma and I eat dinner together for the first time in weeks (I used to be already weak and in bed or asleep by dinnertime), but we stay silent. Both of us can't believe what we heard. 'Ma is going to lose her youngest son, and my older brother doesn't come to see us often. He never truly cared anyway. And as for me, I don't want to leave her. I don't want to lose Yeonjun. I don't want him to lose me.

The next day, I still didn't want to go meet anyone. 'Ma starts saying that I'm acting like when my condition first worsened, and that she doesn't want me to be completely locked inside again.

At about 3pm that afternoon, 'Ma comes into my room with the first smile on her face since the fight.

"Yeonjun's downstairs" she says excitedly.
I groan and place my pillow over my head "Why?"
"He wants to see you, duh!"

I groan again and get out of bed with difficulty. 'Ma puts her arm around my waist from the back and helps me walk. When we arrive at the stairs, I see Yeonjun in the ground floor corridor, widening his eyes.

"I'll go up, don't worry" he says as he climbs the stairs two by two.

"Beomgyu, I really wanted to see you again. I haven't seen you in two weeks!" He says, hugging me every so softly. That's when I realize how different things will be between us now. He'll never treat me the same way ever again. He'll always be softer, calmer.

I'll miss the old us, the old me.

"I know Yeonjun. I'm sorry. I just... I needed time" I say, not completely lying but not exactly honest either.
"I understand. I wanted to be with you, but you seem to be... In a bad shape..." He whispers as he looks at how I can only walk with someone else's help, as he inspects my pale skin and listens to my irregular breathing.

"It's okay. You've made it this far. Come on, let's go to my room. It's better if I stay seated" I say as I remove 'Ma's arm from my waist and start walking on my own back to my room.

"For short distances, walking isn't much of a challenge, but it can get hard in the evening when I'm really tired" I explain to Yeonjun as we both sit down on my bed.

He nods "How have you been? Did you go see Dr. Jeon?"
"Yeah. He seemed to be saying that I was starting to enter that phase where things started to get a little harder. Constantly pale, rarely energetic, almost constantly little slurs, irregular breathing, etc."
"Basically almost all the symptoms show at least a little"
"Yeah. But I can still go out with you" I add, looking at him hopefully.
He chuckles "Yeah, but less frequently I guess"
I nod and pout "If only I had just listened to Soobin that day"
He gasps and hugs me "No, no. This is not your fault. It would've surely happened even if that hadn't happened. It's no one's fault you're going through this. Don't blame yourself, it's fine, really"
I hug him back, smiling lightly, trying to shake away all the dark thoughts that have been torturing me since the checkup.

I am with my boyfriend. In my bedroom. He understands what I'm going through.

And he doesn't think it makes me different.

He's the one who breaks the hug to kiss my lips with that same strength he used to before that party. I kiss back, finally feeling connected to the only person in this world I can trust apart from my mother.

"I talked to Soobin about what he had done. Apparently, he had come to my house after partying and drinking with some university friends and he was a little drunk. I honestly think he was trying to justify his actions, but i didn't say anything. At least it means that he realizes the gravity of his actions" says Yeonjun through the kiss.

I pull back before answering "He had drank with some uni friends? Funny, he doesn't seem to be the kind of guy to drink out and party"

He shrugs "He wasn't the type to fight anyone before. I don't know anymore. I feel like all these years have changed him more than it was necessary"

"I think that we could get in good terms if we cleared things up with him" I say, hesitant.
"Are you crazy?!"
"No, well, maybe. But I don't want you to feel nervous about your friends, alright? And he might reject all love life with his obsession with you. I don't want you living a life of stress and I don't want him living a life of solitude"
"Beomgyu, this is crazy"
"Then don't come with me if you don't want to, Yeonjun, but I want to make my first day out with harsher ALS to be the one where I clear my boyfriend's concerns" I say, standing up to tell 'Ma that, in a few days' time, I was going to go see Soobin. I still needed time to adjust to this phase and I had to gain more energy before going.

"Beomgyu!" I hear Yeonjun call out as I start going down the stairs.
I turn around and watch as he puts his arm around me like 'Ma had done and walks me downstairs.
"When will you go? I'll check my calendar and see if something's planned"
"You coming?!"

He smiles at me widely.

"Yeah"
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Me: Let's upda-
School: Bitch you thought

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