Stay With Me - Yeongyu FF

Chapter 6

[A/N: I wrote this entire chapter at 1 am while watching a horror movie, also this is a filler chapter kinda. We lEaRn ThInGs.]

Carful: there are mentions of suicide in this chapters, so beware.

Not that anyone cares about warnings anyway

Beomgyu POV

I hold on to my teddy bear, staring blankly at the ceiling. I feel tears welling in my eyes. I know Yeonjun is looking at me, and although I don't want him to see me cry, I really feel this close to a mental breakdown.

"I... I gotta go... bathroom" Fuck it... Not the slurring again.

"J-Just down the corridor" he says. I get up and do my best to reach the bathroom without crashing on the ground.

As soon as I arrive, I let my tears fall, sitting on the counter.

The teddy bear.

The last memory of my father I own.

And Yeonjun had to make it worse.

It just isn't considered normal to refuse to go swimming because your brother played a little too much.

Yeah, I was almost drowned by my older brother.

That's why I don't want to be in the water.

At least not with others.

And the teddy...

I wonder how I can still sleep with it without crying.

It was my father's teddy. In his... note... he asked 'Ma to give it to me, among other things.

But I burnt those other things, they hurt me too much.

"'Pa... 'Pa..." I couldn't stop whispering the little nickname I used to give him. He hated it.

He had always acted like such a joyful man. Even now, my brothers and I don't know what made him jump.

Only 'Ma knows, and she decided never to tell us.

But my brothers and I have some theories:

A year or so after I was born, my father lost his job. His company went bankrupt. It had been paying their employees a lot but had a lot of debts.

My brothers were really sad when they knew that he was gone, but I was traumatised.

Why?

Because I was with him.

'Pa and I were supposed to go to the roof of the building we lived in to watch the sunrise. He woke the eleven-year-old me up with that same smile on his face that 'Ma thinks I also have. He brought me to the roof, and we stayed silent for a while, waiting for the sun. I will forever remember the words he told me as the sun rised.

"Beomie... I love you. Tell your mother and brothers I love them too. But it's all too much. You'll make it through all the shit I'll be bringing. You're strong, like your mother. Believe me. I want you to tell your mother this : Everyone is facing their own fight, but Dad wasn't a fighter, he couldn't take the pain"

I try to wipe the tears away, but they keep streaming down my cheeks as I think about the events of that bloody day.

The next thing I saw was my father jumping from a 20-floor-high building.

I told my mother the things he said I should tell her, and I found his suicide note. He wanted to give me his teddy bear and a bunch of other things. Out of rage and madness, I burnt all of the other things, but the teddy was spared, because I still wanted, needed, a memory of him.

Once my tears had calmed down and I felt a little stronger, I went back to Yeonjun's bedroom. I take a deep breath as I enter. I had to tell him the true reason why I had been so scared earlier.

Yeonjun POV

Beomgyu told me everything. All about what happened with his brother. I feel so guilty. I couldn't stop apologizing, and he kept saying it was alright. I don't deserve someone like him.

But please, don't take him away from me!

"I didn't know, I'm so sorry. I should've thought something was off... I just thought that two or three seconds in the water would be fine, and that I could protect you..." I say after he's done.

"I thought my brother could protect me. He drowned me - well, almost - and... I guess I thought I couldn't trust anyone after that. I was eleven at the time. Too young and too joyful to get trust issues. I will forever hate that year. First I almost drown, then 'Pa... I hate that year"

"I... I can't exactly say that I understand you. I have never felt anything similar. I know most people say things like "I understand" or "I feel you" and shit like that but I want to be realistic for a second here. I don't understand what you feel. I might one day, but for now I don't"

Beomgyu smiles. "You're right. You can't really understand. But there's still one thing I need to thank you for"

I look at him, perplex.

"You could've just left us in the water and tell me to stop overreacting, but you didn't"

"I did" I say, feeling even more guilty now, "I tried to get you to stay in the water with me. I gave excuses and solutions. I was stupid. I'm sorry"

"But you gave a reason for your actions, you didn't just say I was overdoing everything. And I appreciate that. I really do."

There was a silence after that, but it wasn't an awkward silence, but an almost comforting one. Me lying beside him on the bed, and him turning towards me.

Coming closer to me.

After a few minutes, he hugs me really tight, and I can't help but smile.

I was expecting this to be a long fight, a harsh one at that. But Beomgyu made it easy.

Just a simple misunderstanding.

"I love you" I hear him whisper softly.

I take his teddy bear behind him and place it in his arm so that he's hugging me with his left arm and his teddy with his right one.

"I love you too, Beomgyu"

"No..." he says, shaking his head and smiling.

"Gyu"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weeeee

Don't question me.

Short chapter but good ending right?

Riiiiight?

Good day/night