🖤𝕷𝖆 𝖉𝖎 𝖉𝖎𝖊🖤

🖤93th part🖤

I turned to look at Kerem once again and this time also my eyes are filled with tears. I had never seen my best friend in a state like this. He has always shown that he is a cheerful person circled by positive energy. By just seeing this man you would think that nothing can manage to make him sad or to even bother him. I guess that all this time I've been wrong. . . "I was so busy bothering you with my problems, but never understood in what kind of pain you are. . ." I managed to say with a trembling voice and put my hands in both sides of my head. "I'm so sorry, Kerem. I shouldn't had asked you. . ." "And let me keep this pain inside me to my grave? I think I've had enough of it." He sobbed and tried to wipe his tears away. "I'm tired, Martinus. No matter how much I try of forgetting, moving as far away as possible from home, she keeps haunting me. She was such a pure soul. She could never hurt someone. And how did I thank her for all the things she has done for me? By sending her towards death." "Don't blame yourself!" "I'm not! If she hadn't met me she would have been alive! She would had been studying and maybe becoming a great botanist! She would get married to the right man, creating a family. She would make all her wishes come true. All of this would have happened if I didn't exist." "Kerem, please." I cried and held him by his shoulders. The streets were empty and we were the only ones out here. It's really tearing me apart to see him like this. . . "Please, Ikra, forgive me. . . Forgive me for not stopping this from happening. Please, forgive me. . . I never stopped loving you and will never. . ." "Kerem. . ." "Take me with you. . . Please take my soul right here so I can be with you. . ." "STOP!" I yelled through tears and finally he looked at me, taking his eyes off the sky. He is literally shaking while his eyes have turned all red and tears keep rolling down his face. "I fucking miss her. . ." He lost all the strength of his body and fell into my arms, crying on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him in a tight hug meanwhile both of us are sinking into our tears. There's no word to explain what I'm feeling right now. I can't believe that it came the day to see my best friend crying. . . It's sad to see that he blames himself for what happened to her. All of this is too much just to hear about, let alone to experience it. "You can't keep blaming yourself for her death. She wouldn't be happy to see you in these condition." "She's not here to watch me. I would handle to see her in front of me being mad, yelling at me, even slapping my face. It would be way better if she was here. . ." "She isn't here physically, but don't you think she's watching you from up there? Sharing the same pain as you? Blaming herself for what you're going through? I might be wrong, but I also could be right. I'm not telling you to forget about Ikra. I'm not forcing you to magically forget this pain and get out of it. None of these are possible, either I want or you do. I'm just asking you to allow yourself to share this pain with me and I promise to help you. I'll cry with you whenever you feel like doing it. With time passing you will heal and then, but only then you can continue your life and Ikra's soul can finally find its peace. Please, Kerem. You don't have to do this alone. At least not anymore. If I knew this since the beginning I wouldn't let this to last this long as it does. One thing that makes me disappointed on myself is that I hadn't known you enough." I said meanwhile he was looking at me and crying. "I didn't show you the real me. . ." "But still I should have focused more on you. You always listen to my problems, but I never thought that you could have too. I just couldn't imagine that a positive person like you could ever have to go through such a thing." . . . //not me crying while writing this. Btw just wanted to inform that the part of Ikra and Kerem's love story is from a Turkish serial they play in. The part when Ikra died had touched my soul way too deep and I really thought to put it into the story. Also in the pic of Kerem that I have showed in the start of story it's the real actor of him;) \\