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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄
❝ 𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒅𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖.❞
━━━━━━━━━━━━
Lilith returned to the Snape manor with the only purpose of locking herself in her room, drowning in alcohol and smoking the last three cigarettes in her pack to have, at least, a moment where she didn't need to think every one of her movements. Or not think at all. She was exhausted, tired, frustrated — and she hated her life.
She really hated it.
Sitting on the chair in front of her dresser, she lightened up the candles in her room and looked at her reflection in the mirror, trying to calm herself down by brushing her mane of curls.
The thoughts in her head, however, didn't give her any respite. How had she ended like that? How was she about to marry her school enemy in less than a week? How had she turned into a spy in her tender 20 years when she used to dream about becoming a Quidditch professional player? How had her life disassembled more than it already had even before Voldemort?
She wanted to scream, to fight, to stab every single Death Eater with the sharpest dagger out there and run away to feel free from once in her life — free from her mother, from her fate, and free from what it was being Lilith Arambella.
Lilith sighed, feeling hypnotized by the wild but little flames coming from her candles, breathing the blueberry and the peony smell all over the room — it calmed her. It reminded her of the times where she could just be a normal kid and not risk her own life every time she set a foot out of her bedroom.
The times during the war had been so exhausting and traumatic that sometimes Lilith struggled to order her memories or to remember precise events, since most of them were so harmful and painful her brain was trying to do its best to erase them. It upset her, Lilith loved to treasure her painful moments so she could taste till the tiniest bit of her revenge against those who hated her — she wanted to remember what it felt to be destroyed so she could give her torturers the punishment they deserved.
However, there was one thing that Lilith did remember and it was how much she hated Fred Weasley. She huffed at the memory of the ginger and crossed her arms in front of her chest still looking at the flames, almost as if she had been enchanted. The universe was definitely not by her side if it had decided that making her Weasley's wife was the best fate for her.
As she looked at her wedding dress on the dressmaker's dummy in her room, considering it had been one of the few only options she was allowed to make in her life, Lilith thought about what was keeping her alive at the moment.
