Amore mio 2

9.

Her.

I sighed, hearing my phone buzz on my nightstand nonstop. My hand drowsily reached for it and I glanced at the screen, first of all noticing the time - 4AM. What could possibly Gretchen want from me at 4AM? 

"Mhm, is everything alright, amore mio?"- asked gruffly and hoarsely Leo, his hold of me as tight and mellow as ever. 

"Sì, handsome. I will be back."- I replied softly, kissing his cheek. 

"Don't take too long, baby girl. I need my cuddles."- murmured Leonardo against my lips, kissing me fondly, causing me to smile at his cute self. 

I got up and went to the bathroom to answer my bestie's call, not wanting to burst my husband's sleep any further. 

"This is emergency conversation."- stated Gretchen right away as I leaned on the sink area, trying to wake my sleepy brain up. 

"Hello to you too. How can I help you?"- I replied calmly, granting her all of my attention. 

"Do you have good plastic surgeon's contacts? Preferably the one, who specialises in boobs."- asked Gretchen, taking me aback by the question. 

"No, I don't. Why?"- I responded in slight tension. 

"I want to get a boob job: lift and bigger size. Having 2 constantly hungry sons is no joke. I feel like my boobs reach the floor. I have no idea how yours are still as good as new after breastfeeding 16 kids. I miss my pre-pregnancy chest."- mumbled my best friend seriously and openly, clicking of keyboard echoing on the background.

"Moreover, it wouldn't hurt to give Niro something extra sexy to look at and play with."- added smugly G, my mind nowhere near her sentences now. 

In a few minutes we finished the talk and I should have joined Leo in bed. 

But doubts and fears filled my mind. 

My eyes attached to my reflection in the mirror and I examined my half-naked appearance. You can get flat stomach, slim legs, toned bum and lean arms after pregnancy. But chest - not really.

My white, sheer bra gave clear view of my chest that began bothering me now. 

Did it change? Is it different to the touch and eyes? Are they saggy? Is my chest too small? What if Leo likes a bigger size? Did being a mum change my breasts more than I could assume? 

Sure, my breasts are not fully the same since I have became a mum. I put immense amount of effort to maintain my body, including chest, in a good condition. Maybe I do not enough? What if what I do gives no results in reality? 

Gut wrenching feeling consumed me. I took my phone, opening gallery, rushing to find photos of myself before and after pregnancies. 

Levis campaign: topless with jeans. Even with my arms around my chest, it is clear that my breasts were firm and perky. 

Photo from our family trip to Maldives year ago. Me on a sun-bed in Gucci bikini. 

Once I saw the noticeable and big to me diffrence, my eyes watered, and I began searching for an answer to my fear, quickly finding the best plastic surgeon in Rome, Italy. 

I read about the breast augmentation and recovery process, breast implants and sizes, health conditions and conditions, which prevent one from getting the procedure done. 

"Bambina, are you alright?"- asked coarsely Leo, peering in the bathroom, and I glanced at him, nodding wordlessly. 

"It doesn't look like it, angel."- he stated surely, knowing me better than I know myself.