Amore mio 2

36.

Her.

My heart feels like it is being pierced with knives. 

The gun dropped to the floor and tears burned my soul as I glanced at Leonardo, at a loss for words, unaware of what to do up until my heart, still blinded by my love for him, guided my next steps, ignoring my mind that told me to stay away from him. 

"Cazzo."- sighed Leonardo as I took his hand in mine, sobbing as I felt how hot his smooth skin is. 

"Look at me."- I said shakily, cupping his cheek delicately, shattering more and more as he couldn't open his eyes for longer than 5 seconds, looking like he is in pain.

"Per favore."- I pleaded vulnerably, at my lowest and most broken, crying from hopelessness. 

I don't want to see him, I need to be alone and think once I cool off, but I cannot leave him like this. 

He is my husband, the father of my children - he is the man I would die for, I do love him in spite of it all and I cannot turn my back on him. 

I sat next to him, gently laid his arm on my shoulders and wrapped my arm around his waist, helping him to get up, worrying and blinking away more tears as he couldn't keep himself up, almost as if lifeless. 

I hugged him close to myself to steady him and walked him to his office, not wanting him to stay in a room with the corpse of that bitch. 

Once the door of his office closed, I laid him down on the black, leather sofa, being as careful and tender as I can. His hands reached for his shirt, intending to take it off, struggling with the task, and I bit my lip, helping him as tears rushed down my face harder, faster, my eyes focused on the lip prints on his chest and the fact that she unbuttoned his shirt.

I got the first A.I.D. kit and kneeled beside him to measure his temperature, which didn't take long to show the results. 

39.8°C (103.6°F). 

He is burning up. 

My heart stung hellishly as I looked after Leonardo, my hands shaking and tears like a waterfall. He couldn't do a thing, not even open his eyes, the pain was written all over his face and it worsened my state.

I have never felt so low and ruined. 

Past 5 AM I soothed his fever down and he fell asleep, tucked in a blanket with a pillow under his head. I tore my eyes away from him, sickened by the events so much that I threw up in the bathroom, crying and trembling, lost and hurt more than I have ever been in my life. 

He wouldn't lay with another, he swore he would never and his actions always said that he indeed will never betray me. He is a man with high, graceful, benevolent and remarkable morals.

I have never given him a reason to cheat on me, I have been trying to be the best wife for him and to give him everything he could desire, including sex, and we created such a beautiful family together - he wouldn't dare to brush it all off like nothing, would he? 

My mind filled with questions and doubts that my heart ignored, as if certain that we are fine, but my heart cannot deny that it hurt like hell to see that: my beloved husband with another woman, her lingerie blunt and explicit, their position too intimate and sexual. 

I threw up the moment I thought about what she could have done to him, where she touched him and what she wanted to do. I flushed the toilet, feeling lifeless and miserable. 

Time passed by and I cried on the bathroom floor, pain bubbling up in me, becoming harder to recover from, harder to numb and harder to bear. I couldn't bring myself to call anyone, but I know I should because people will come here and there will be a lot of questions, questions I am not ready to answer.