Chapter 44

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Dixie's POV:

I left his arms with tears streaming down my face. My mind isn't in the right place, I just feel like there's something seriously wrong with me. I mean, Noah doesn't deserve this. He didn't do anything wrong. I guess, neither did I. But, Noah got dragged into this mess.

I stopped and thought about all I had done wrong. Maybe if I had just said something, something that would make it stop, none of us would be in this mess. Noah would be the one to tell me I did nothing wrong, but no matter how many times he tells me that or makes me believe, I never truly will.

"I love you" he said, as I closed the bedroom door. I love him too, so much. He asked he could open it and talk to me. The last thing I wanted was to shut him out, so I opened the door a little bit. He pushed it open a little more and rushed over to me.

He wrapped his arms around me and wiped my tears away. "I love you too." I hugged him. He kissed my head and brought me over to the bed. He fixed my hair from what happened on the couch and continued to wipe the tears that streamed down my face.

Im sorry. Im so sorry to not only him, myself, and the others around us. I can't even have sex with my own boyfriend without thinking about Griffin, and how he would kill me if he ever caught us together. I thought I was stronger than this, but I'm not. The worse part is, is that I can't even do anything about it.

He held me tighter until I stopped crying. I laid down on him and he rubbed my head. "Do you want to talk baby?" He asked. I don't know why I could last night but not now. It was because I saw Griffin and all the memories came back, I know. But even before, I wasn't able to not think about him with Noah around. Noah would never hurt me but Griffin could and did.

"I'm sorry," I blurred out. He told me that I had no reason to apologize for this, that it wasn't my fault. "I dragged you into this mess. Of course it's my fault. You deserved none of it. You are the best and sweetest guy I've ever met." I said beginning to cry more. I sat up and Noah seemed a little frustrated.

"I chose to be involved because I love you so much, it hurts. It hurts everyday, and it continues to hurt, because there is nothing that I can do to take away the pain. I'm sorry for that. You mean everything to me, so I will do whatever it takes to make you happy."

I sat in silence, looking up at him. I gave him a kiss and I jumped into his arms. He hugged me back and told me to lay down. Noah pulled the covers over me and kneeled down to my level. "I'll be back in a minute, I love you" he said, kissing my forehead.

I saw him walk out of my room. It was late, around eleven p.m. I have a hard time sleeping without him so, I waited patiently for him to come back. I heard him argue with someone on the phone.

I tried to listen to what he was saying but it was hard, everything was muffled. I don't think I've heard him yell at anyone besides Griffin. He might be talking to Blake.

I got up, out of bed and opened the door. A yell came from the kitchen. "You promised you wouldn't say anything. I hope you intend on keeping that promise" he yelled, but slowly began to lower his voice as his statement went on.

"Don't pull anymore shit. You had no right to do that. And you better not make this worse with that. I promise I'll tell her, just don't do anything stupid" he said, getting annoyed.

"Baby, what are you doing?" I asked, looking up at him. He paused for a moment and hung up the phone. "Sorry I was just talking to someone, I'm sorry if I woke you."

I got a little suspicious. Why wouldn't he tell me who it was or why he was screaming at them? He came up to me and kissed my cheek. "What did you need to tell me?" I asked, beginning to get upset. "Nothing, I was talking about someone else." He said fast.

He's lying, I know it. "In all of the time we've known each other, have you ever been able to lie to me?" I stared into his eyes. "Your right, I'll tell you later, it's a long story for another night. Let's just get some sleep." He said, grabbing my hand to go to my room. Goodnight I guess.

A/N: I just got done with finals and it was awful. Anyways, I plan on posting more as soon as possible. Have a great day and I look forward to hearing from you guys soon. Bye.

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