55: Feel Or Deal

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"How is she holding up?" Scarlett asked me. I shake my head. "I tried to call her." "I don't know where her phone is. It's probably dead in the bottom of her bag." "Where is she now?" "On a run in Hollywood." "Hollywood?" I nodded. "That's 30 minutes out." "Her brother picks her up they drive to go on a hike, Jr says she runs it at a sprint but" I shrug. "Are you okay?" "My girlfriend is in pain and I can't stop it. I can't fix it." It's been two weeks since Cassie's funeral, a month since the accident and Nell hasn't said much of anything. The most she's said was at the funeral when she did her speech for her sister. She's not being rude or anything, whenever she tries to speak she gets choked up and has to fight to keep herself together. "When do you come back to the city?" "She's not mentioned it. Normally she's itching to get back." "When are you back at work?" "Now, I've been back for a week now." "She's just home alone all day?" "Pretty much, she's behind on her school work, she's not picked up a camera. Not used the computer. Not when I've been around anyway." "I could fly out, sit with her in the day." "You've just had a baby, Scar." "Two months ago and she's my friend. Plus Rose misses you both." "We'll be home in good time. I don't think she's ready to see anyone, hence the phone is switched off." "She needs support." "I got that covered." "What about her family? Is there anything we can do?" "They're okay, Annabella is back at work, Tony is in Washington, Jr has taken some time off but I think that's more for Nell's sake than his."

"When does she get back from her run?" "Not until early afternoon." "She can really run?" "Jr trained her, she can run for miles at a sprint. It's cool to watch but I don't know how she does it." "Is she eating?" "Yeah, as much as she can. She's not eaten a whole pizza or anything crazy but it's enough to keep her going." "Have the twins spoken to her? I know MK and her are pretty close." "No, she hasn't taken anyone's call." "It's weird, her being sad. it's not Nell, she's normally saying something sarcastic or witty. Smiling bright, overstepping." "She just about manages a good morning and a good night these days."

Scarlett looked at me through the screen. "I miss her." "She's still there." "I didn't expect this. I didn't expect someone so strong and resilient to break like this. To be like this." "Cassie was her world, she worked so Cassie could thrive." "I know... I'm scared her reason for being here has gone and she's going." "You're her reason, Lizzie. That ring she gave you meant something, it means something. She just lost her sister she's hurting she grieving. Is she speaking to her therapist?" "Twice a week." "Has that helped?" "She mostly sits there in silence and because it's over the computer it's not that big of a deal to just sit there." She nodded.

"Have you brought it up with her?" "No, she's not ready." "When has that ever stopped you before? You always push her." "This isn't something to push her on, it's raw and recent. If I push her she'll snap." "More so than she already has?" "I believe so."

"Elizabeth?" "Jr?" I stand up and go into the hallway leaving the desk bringing Scarlett with me. "Is she back yet?" "No, she was on a hike with you, just like she does every day." "She said she was busy today... Used the landline to call me." I frowned. "She left this morning." My heart started to beat a little quicker. Where had she gone? What was she doing? Was she okay? Was she hurt? Was she sane? Had she taken her meds? I keep forgetting to check in the mornings, she hates when I check too much so I stopped but now I wish I checked. "One-second mums calling." Jr took her call. "What's happened?" "Nell didn't go on the run this morning." "But." "I know. We currently don't know where she is." "What are you going to do?" "Probably scout the usual areas, Coffee shops, beach, house, hike trail." "Call her mum maybe she went to her. Or the studio." I nodded. "I'll text you. Give Rosie kisses from us." "I will, she loves you." "Love her too." I hung up and waited for Jr. "Mum's not seen her either. She wanted to know if you were free for dinner tonight?" "Sure," I say. Jr and I divided up the areas Nell would go to and checked them out. I couldn't find her anywhere. Then it came to me.

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