68: I can't

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***Sensitive Topics***














MARY-KATE'S POV

Seeing her walk away from my sister was hard to watch, she had shut down at those two words, Lizzie said to her. I was glad we came over. Their dinner was on the table and Nell had a carton of apple juice in one hand and a bottle of Pino in the other. Her skin was physically drained of colour until her skin looked grey and almost waxy. 

She put the bottles on the island and threw up in the sink, Ashley caught her hair before it flew into the line of sick exiting her body. Lizzie looked anywhere but Eleanor. I loved her but she had been so fucking stupid. Nell was a lovely girl, she was understanding and empathic everything Lizzie needed and wanted in a partner and she threw it back in her face. "Nell?" I said when she stood up straight. She wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her hoodie before looking at me her eyes were dark not a single flick of green in them. Lizzie said that means she's sad. The more green the happier she is. They've been pure green for weeks and weeks since the engagement but now they're just brown. "Um, let me fix you a plate of food." "That's okay." "You can just eat mine. I'm not that hungry." She says turning to the sink and rinsing it out before going to the cleaning cabinet and getting the products to clean their very expensive and nice sink. She didn't say anything else, no one moved Ashley stayed close to Nell as she cleaned the sink out. Lizzie looked outside into her garden.

I walked over to her and wrapped an arm around her, she was my sister and she knows she fucked up. "Are you okay?" "Is she?" "No." "Then no." Her hand rested on her flat stomach the bump not yet visible. "What do you need?" "What I need isn't going to come so just go or stay. I don't care." "What do you need?" I asked again. "I need her to tell me it's going to be okay. But she can't. Because it's not going to be okay. Because I let him fuck me and I'm carrying his child!" She screamed at me. I looked over my shoulder, Nell and Ashley stood looking at us. Nell was conflicted she wanted to comfort Lizzie but she was hurting to much to.

Lizzie turned to look at Nell they shared eyecontact for a few minutes neither of them say anything. "I'm sorry," Lizzie whispered but because the room was completely silent it was audible to the girls on the other side of the kitchen. Nell was already fiddling with her rings as she looked down at her hands. "Please don't," Lizzie said but Nell slipped both rings off her fingers and hesitantly sat them on the counter. "Nelly. Please."

"I can't do this." She looked sick like she was going to pass out any second. Lizzie was shaking her head eyes over spilling with silent tears that cascaded down her high cheeks and dripped off her chin. "You can keep the house and the car. I'll have someone come and get my things." "Nell." "No, it's fine. Really, you're having a baby. You need a house." "I want our home." "Our home is broken, Lizzie. And I'm not prepared to get hurt again in an attempt to fix it. My heart can't take it." "Um... I'm gonna go get a bag together." Her voice quivered slightly and her words came out almost confused like she was processing the situation as she was talking.

She didn't shout, she didn't get angry. She was in pain. She truly loved Lizzie with everything she was, she put everything into this relationship. I followed her out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I caught her wrist before she went up the next flight of stairs and she stayed facing away from me firmly. "Eleanor?" Her shoulders shook and her knees buckled. We sat in the hallway her head buried in my chest as I shielded her from reality for a few minutes. I ran my fingers through her hair, her long limbs folded beneath her. "What can I do?" "I need my mum." "Okay, I can do that," I say helping her stand and taking her into one of the guest rooms.

I called her mum, Nell laid her head in my lap as I ran my fingers through her hair. I explained what had happened to Annabella. She was anxious to get to her daughter and asked me to keep her with me, in their house. So I did. I booked Annabella a flight it was the least I could do for Nell. The way Lizzie had treated her. Nell stopped crying and she was just glaring ahead at nothing in particular, lost in thought. Lizzie was crying downstairs and Ashley was doing her thing. She had a lot more understanding when it came to this type of thing.

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