77: Insecurity

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Whilst Nell and Scar were out dress shopping I and the girls went to our hair appointment and did other wedding bits. "When are you going dress shopping?" "When I'm in New York." I wanted my mum there and I was going back in a few weeks for a marvel meeting they want to know what I'm doing, I haven't even thought about it but with us planning for the baby maybe be just not resigning to them and just stopping for a while. I need to discuss it with Nell it was a big choice, she had no clue we were even going back to New York yet. I got the email yesterday and with everything that is going on with the wedding, I didn't want to add to her stress. I'd see how she feels this evening after we've been to her grandparents for dinner. 

Ashley had written a to-do list for us to complete whilst Nell was out, MK was hungover so she wasn't all too helpful. "It's not fair that she doesn't get hangovers." She complained as we waited to pay for the flowers we just ordered for the backs of the chairs at the ceremony. "She's special," I say. I've witnessed Nell have one hangover the whole time I've known her and that was after her 22nd birthday she wasn't that bad but that might of had something to do with the fact we had stuff going on that minimalised the impact of her hangover.

We were out all morning until the mid-afternoon. I was half expecting Nell to be home when we got there knowing her attention span was awful and she'd just end up having Scar and her mum pick her dresses for her but she wasn't home yet. I text Scar to see where they were.

Rose's Mama

We're still at the store, she's actually taking her time to find the perfect dress.

It's kind of sweet

She wants you to think she's beautiful

She's always beautiful

Tell her she's beautiful

She's had a meltdown like three times

Me telling her beautiful is just getting me flipped off

Her mum is in the changing room with her

She really wants everything to be perfect for you

You know you're lucky right?

I know

I don't want her getting upset

Tell her to pick whatever she feels most comfortable in

Her mum just said she's not crying about the dress

well, she is but not just that.

She's crying for two reasons, one finding the right dress and two she loves you

Did she say that?

Yes, she's crying because she loves you so much.

Ugh it makes me sick

You two are so in love

Tell her I love her

She's crying more.

"Angel?" I say down the phone. "I love you." "I love you." She sniffed. "Are you a little tired?" "Yeah." "Come home." "No, I'm picking my dress." "Okay, don't get too upset about it. You look stunning in everything you wear." "I wish you were here, you always pick my clothes." "This is one dress I can't pick for you, bubs." I pout. "I miss you." "We've been apart for a few hours." "I know." "You'll be home soon, do you need me to get anything ready for you?" "My dress, the green one with the white flowers on it." "The longer one?" "Yeah, Grandpa wants to take us to dinner." "Okay," I say going upstairs. "Is that okay?" "Yeah baby, did you want to go with just your mum or did you still want me to come." "I want you to come." "Okay." "Right I love you but I'm hanging up right now so you can hurry home." "Okay." "Smile." "I want everything to be perfect." "As long as you're marrying me it will be perfect." "Cheesy." "Say's you." We both chuckled. "I love you too."

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