A Novel's Beast World

2. Well, Now What?

Originally posted: March 22, 2022. Edited: February 17, 2023.

"Oomph!" Damn leopard did that on purpose. Dropping me on my ass as soon as we got to the village. I was never more grateful, than this moment, to have the extra padding on my rear. Long live Blue Bell. Hurrah for Häagen-Dazs.

I almost cried standing up. My adrenaline spike was clearly on the decline and my back was screaming profanities. Thank god I carry a bottle of ibuprofen in my backpack. I opened up the bottle and swallowed four, chasing them with cold water from my thermos.

I did my best to keep up with the leopard. I may know some of this shitty story, but I wasn't the MC. I didn't know how things were going to go for me.

The sea of men parted for the leopard and its rider. And then there is me, trailing like a silent fart in their wake. I had to suppress my snicker. This was ridiculous. If I was going to have a fucked up coma dream, shouldn't I be the MC?

Maybe it's better that I'm not. Most of the males that come onto Bai are questionable at best. I wouldn't want to be in her position. My stupid mouth would get me killed by Curtis for sure. Violent snek that he is, I want to stay far, far away.

Okay, that's a lie. He may be a bastard, but he's a hot bastard. Got to at least take a look first.

I tried to follow them, but that stingy dick called Parker growled at me. For the first time in my life, I wished I could growl back. Ya, I'm gonna die.

Having been ousted by Parker, I had to look for a another free ride. Being a moocher is crap, but I don't have much choice right now.

I looked around at the gathered males and the three leopard females in front of Parker. I would have enjoyed watching the showdown with Eudora if I wasn't so busted up from the lovely jaunt in the woods.

Back crying in pain, I tried looking for the only other male from this village that appeared in the story. Not finding him, I decided to ask the closest dude. Except he was hot, and so was the guy next to him. How did I talk to Parker earlier? Oh yeah. Pretty sure I threatened him.

My lack of socializing has come to bite me in my ass. Good thing I am in pain and in denial. No way I'd be able able to talk to half naked men otherwise. Putting on my big girl panties, I tried to be nice.

"Hey, man. Know where the doc is?" .... Smooth as a slippery ass crack. Am I their buddy or something? I must be their bro.

These guys don't even know what a man is, let alone a doc. Maybe they can lend me a shovel so I can dig my own grave. 'Cept they don't have shovels. Damn cavemen.

"My name is not Man, female. It's Rod. What is a doc?" asked the very confused male.

"Doctor. I meant doctor," I corrected while sinking into my despair.

"Oh! You need Harvey? Are you hurt, female? I can take you there!" Rod enthusiastically volunteered.

"That's okay, Rod. Can you just give me directions, please? I can get there myself." Talking nicely was hard, but Rod seemed like a good guy. Um, beast?

Maybe I should worry more. This world was super simple. Even someone like me could understand how it worked. I didn't want this guy to think I'd mate with him because of directions. Assuming he was single that is.

Rod was excited. The female in strange furs had chosen him to ask for directions. He had to at least see her to the doctor. "No. I have to make sure you get there safe."

Shit. I must really suck at words. Should I just take him up on the offer? It's not like an instant engagement anyway. "Okay."

Rod bounced up and down excitedly before shifting. He stood their waiting expectantly. Did he seriously think I was going to ride him? I stared at him. He stared at me.

Damn. Guess he does. My ass still stings from my last experience. I really don't want to. I can feel an ugly frown on my face. Let's just stop thinking for a bit. I'm not good at it anyway. I climbed on to the leopard with the coordination of a beached fish and grasped fur and skin awkwardly.

Thank goodness I wore jeans today. I normally hate jeans with a passion, but I hadn't done laundry in two weeks. Finally, being lazy saved me some serious chaffing. Riding a leopard into the sunset may seem all romantic and shit, but it's awkward and rubs in some sensitive places.

Having arrived at Harvey's, I did cry a bit. Fuck me. My back can't even protest anymore. It's just dead. Leopard runs are way, way more jarring than I expected. Life, you're such a bitch. I didn't care if I had to drop dead at his door, I wanted to lay down and not get up.

Rod, carefully lowered to the ground. Crazy bastard ran all the way here and now he oh-so-slowly and gently, lets me off.

Sliding off Rod with the grace of a dead whale, I laid on the ground wishing I had finished off the batch of brownies the neighbor gave me. I knew I shouldn't have saved them for later.

Rod panicked for me and busted Harvey's door down. Great. Another thing I'm going to feel guilty about later. Sweet, sweet Rod, lifted me up like I weighed nothing and shuttled me inside. Guess that stripe on his face was there for a reason.