A Novel's Beast World

48. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid

Updated May 20,2022.  

I figured I'd ride a tiger back, but he had other ideas. He scooped me up and gave me my second heart attack. Damned tiger.

"Are you uncomfortable? Would you rather Harvey carry you?" Of course I am. Harvey is the safer option. Will he be upset? Can I handle being carried by Winston? Nope, I can't. Good thing I have no energy left. How do I speak again?

The babies started whining and I knew I had to make an important decision. Be carried by hunky man or be carried by angelic man. Damn. This is tough.

"Uh, go lets." Nooo! Why tongue, why?! Someone's laughing at me! Who's the bitch? Alec, you bastard. Just you wait, one day you're gonna get it.

Wack!

"Brother! What was that for?" Thank you Rowan. You are a good man. I encourage your violence.

I wouldn't look at them and we left. I asked Winston to step on it. That was a terrible move. I felt all kinds of friction that was not fucking helping. Stupid tat, stupid weakness, and stupid fucking hormones.

The stupid hawks followed from above and I just couldn't deal. However long it took to get back, was too damn long. I ran as soon as Winston set me down. Looks like some of my energy came back.

I buried myself under some furs and started feeding the babies. That's right, think of the babies. Nothing screams turn off like kids. But I can't get pregnant now. No! Don't be smart, be stupid!

Ugh! Why am I running when I should be climbing? I have to distract myself from tiger man. Think of babies, ape shit, and... hawks?

And now I got to think of the damned hawks! I thought Alec might fall for Qingqing since he stared like that, but he just went back to normal.

Is he even interested? He acts like a friend, which is cool since I don't have any of those. But 'friends' don't exist here right? I even accepted the whoopee cushion. I have to ask Harvey if that means we are dating. Fuck. This is hard.

Ouch! Go easy on me kids. It's time to start squeezing this shit into a bowl.

Then there is Rowan and...shit. Another topic. I need another one. I fucked up with Rosa and Qingqing today, that's an achievement. Rosa was inevitable, but I stupidly went after Qingqing. Piss off Curtis why don't I? It's not like he can kill me and my family, right? The only thing he gives a shit about is Qingqing. He'd do anything in the name of protecting her and never ask permission.

Stupid mouth. I just couldn't help myself, could I? I've endangered my family in the name of boredom and stupidity. Good going me. I'm a fucking winner.

"Drew?" Harvey? "What's wrong?" Mind reader.

"Harvey. I think I really fucked up." I'm not going to cry even if I want to. I refuse.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I didn't, but I needed to anyways.

"Yeah." I felt him curl around me as the two feeding boys fell asleep. Time for Smash's turn. "Harvey..." Better to just get it out. "Curtis is dangerous. Not because he's a feral, but because he is." That's a bad start. I'm not making sense. "I don't want to fight with Qingqing in case he tries to kill us."

"That won't happen." I felt him tense up. I gave him a look. "I don't see why he would do that. You aren't a threat." True, but you don't know Curtis.

"If he thinks I'll upset Qingqing too much, it's possible. I don't want to get on his bad side." Harvey nodded in understanding.

"No one here would let him touch you." Harvey wore a rare stern expression and I felt the urge to cry again. "You aren't worrying about you... Winston and Shuu are strong." Not stronger than Curtis.