Dangers of a Saint || Ryeji

3

Ryujin finished all of her work around five in the morning and produced a list of the companies that she would have meetings with in the following days. She was still a bit hesitant agreeing to discuss business with the corporations from England but she knew she couldn't take it personally.

She didn't bother checking her phone, knowing there would be countless birthday greetings that she didn't want to read. She slept on it only to be met by Karina showing up in her dreams, causing her to wake up with a jolt. This made her even more restless. Three hours later, she found herself staring at the cold tile of her bathroom floor. Before her best friend's death, birthdays used to be something Ryujin was ecstatic about, knowing that she would get to spend a day with her family and friends without thinking about anything but the celebration of her life. It wasn't the case anymore and she dreaded the day to come every single year.

She thought about Lisa's invitation. It had been five years and it was expected that they had already moved on from what happened, but they didn't feel what Ryujin felt. They weren't the one suffering from the possible idea that they were to blame for Karina's death. Not to mention the times that they wasted getting angry at each other. Ryujin could never forgive herself for letting Karina go without managing to make up for her actions, for her horrible treatment as a friend that Karina dealt with. She was beyond furious with herself that she allowed her best friend to feel alone.

Ryujin hated it that Karina felt that she needed to be intoxicated to face her. She didn't need the alcohol in her system for them to have an actual conversation. They were best friends . . . but Ryujin didn't deserve her. If they weren't fighting, Karina wouldn't have a reason to get drunk and go to Ryujin's house. If Ryujin hadn't been such a terrible friend, Karina would still be alive.

Ryujin closed her eyes forcefully before slamming her fist against the tiled wall. Her birthday wasn't worth celebrating for if she was the reason her best friend lost her own life on the same day.

She didn't know how long she spent in the bathroom. It was one of the places that she went to whenever she needed to think intensely. Most of the innovative ideas that she had for Bifrost were constructed in the very same room. However, after getting dressed up, whatever she had just formulated for hours instantly dissipated as soon as she saw the image before her eyes.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you . . . "

Jinni held a Black Forest cake with sparkling candles while Elizabeth and Lydia were standing on either side as they all sang for her. Black and gold balloons scattered all over the floor and some touched the ceiling. Various delicacies lined the counter and the table was already set up. It was elegantly perfect and Ryujin would've appreciated it all if it wasn't for the gaping hole she felt in her chest.

" . . . Happy birthday, Ryujin."

Ryujin's jaw clenched as she tried to keep her composure. Every single fiber of her body was aching to lash out on all of them but she knew that was impolite and seeing Jinni's excited expression, she didn't have the heart to ruin her fun even if she was in pain herself.

"Get out," Ryujin said as calmly as possible.

Jinni let out an awkward laugh. "What?"

"Get out," Ryujin reiterated, growing impatient by the second. "Get out or I will."

"Honey, it's your birthday," Lydia said with a pleading look.

"And you know goddamn well that I don't like any of this," Ryujin said, motioning to the decoration they put up.

"Ryujin, come on," Jinni said, putting the cake down. "I didn't sit my ass in the plane for ten hours for you to act like this."

"If you actually cared about me, you would respect the reason why I don't prefer celebrating this day," Ryujin said, her voice dangerously low.