Dangers of a Saint || Ryeji

72

Author's Note:

I sincerely apologize for the delay, but I'm glad that you're here.

You made it to the last page of this book and for that I will always be grateful.

There's no need to rush. I hope you'll enjoy this one.

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Yeji couldn't remember the last time she felt . . . empty.

She experienced a tinge of desolation that time she had a fight with Ryujin in Maldives but that wasn't even close to what she felt before, the void that formed at the pit of her stomach expanding to her chest from the pressure and strain that she acquired. They usually emerged when she was stressed from work, worried about her life in general, and basically having the same problem that everybody did—a lamentable existential crisis.

When she moved to Vancouver, she only had one thing in mind and that was to get a job in one of her dream companies. After that, she simply wanted to become rich so she would be able to afford the materialistic things that she sought for since she was young. She wasn't the type who had a solid plan for her future, like an actual vision that provided her with direction on what she should do and what she should achieve on this particular timeline of her existence. No, she didn't have that. Even when she was still with Jaehyun, she was never truly able to establish a concrete perception of what was in store for them. She only thought of surviving, to have enough money to put food on her table and a roof above her head.

She didn't plan on finding Chaeryeong nor did she expect to have her best friend practically crash into her one day, but she couldn't thank the heavens enough for letting it happen, for bringing them into what used to be her catastrophic life. She liked to believe in fate and although having been hit by a raging car with a furious driver behind its steering wheel left her body sore for a couple of days, she knew it was meant to happen and she was glad that it did. Despite not turning out the way she expected it to, Yeji couldn't see herself living the same way she did now with Ryujin around. It was all thanks to the billionaire, she finally had a glimpse of the future that she wanted to have, the same scenario that she pictured every night as she manifested it to happen, a certain picture of what she desired profoundly.

And where else would she be if she wasn't sitting beside Ryujin in a rocking chair with their hair turning gray?

Throughout their tour, she began to understand what composers meant when they talked about feeling so high in songs. With a girlfriend constantly looking after her, a partner hellbent on procuring everything that she could possibly want, a best friend she shared the world with who was making her feel as if it was only made for them in the same breath, Yeji felt as if she was constructing her own path of clouds that was beyond heaven and the universe itself.

Because of Ryujin, her heart always felt full.

And although a human heart could only take so much, she never found herself complaining with the love that she was receiving from her girlfriend. Somehow, as mind-boggling as it was, her heart always seemed to be capable of creating more space to keep the adoration that Ryujin was giving her. It was as if they were naturally made for each other no matter how corny it sounded in her head, that the universe was resolved with the thought that they were the ones destined to discover what it truly meant to love someone eternally.

Sometimes, it made Yeji wonder.

Marriage, settling down, building a house of their own, perhaps starting their own little family.

Most of the time it overwhelmed her.

But it wasn't because she didn't want them or she was nervous simply thinking about the bigger picture, but because there were days when her doubts formed darker clouds in her head as she thought about how Ryujin would take it if she talked about her sentiments with her. Since the beginning, she didn't see the billionaire as someone who would dive right into serious commitments. She couldn't even see Ryujin attempting to process the mere idea of tying the knot, but it didn't raise a dilemma to have her feelings for the billionaire all messed up and stuck between sixes and sevens. She loved Ryujin with probably everything that she had and if she wasn't prepared to sit down and open up to that particular matter, then Yeji would faithfully wait until she was ready. In all honesty, she didn't care how long it would take knowing that Ryujin was always worth the wait.