Well It's Not My Problem

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Lifty: Thanks for pulling the fire alarm, you saved me from giving an oral report about The Scarlet Web.
Suga: You were too lazy to read the book?!
Lifty: I was too lazy to watch the movie.

Giggles: So, Cuddles is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Toothy: Why?
Giggles: Because I've caught him trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Cuddles, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

Cuddles: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

Nutty: You’re jealous.
Sniffles: Jealous?
Nutty: That’s why you were being so negative about this.
Sniffles: That’s absurd. I’m always negative.

Suga: I’m going to hell.
Flippy: Probably.
Suga: I'll pick you up?
Flippy: *nodding* Carpool.

Toothy: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.
Cuddles: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.

Flaky: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?
Flippy: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

Disco Bear: *texting* Hey can you pick me up I’m drunk.
DB: Oh you don't have to anymore. I'm home now.
Pop: Yes, I'm aware of that after dropping you off at home.

Nutty: What the fuck.
Nutty: ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship.
Nutty: Who the hell watches jump rope competiti- ooh bouncy.

Splendont: *closes a cabinet*
*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*
Splendid: What was that?
Splendont: The sound of someone else's problem.

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