Too Late To Say Goodbye | Tommy Shelby {1}

42.

     Tommy always thought he knew exactly who he was and what he was capable of.

After the war, he thought he was capable of anything. Maybe it had to do with the numb feeling he always had inside. He no longer feared death. Then he met Grace.

His saving grace.

The woman that made him feel again. The woman who gave him his child...the woman who almost got him and his family killed.

And that was unforgivable in his book.

But still two year later, she got pregnant with his child. A mistaken night. A seal of fate.

He thought he was just going to have to learn how to live with the cards he's been dealt. To live with his mistakes, for the sake of his son.

That was until he found her.

Bella.
The girl sleeping in his stable, in Charlie's Yard. The girl that is strong. The girl that cares for others. The girl that brings light into his life.

She quickly became his peace. She understood him. She shared her life with him, both sharing a similar pain in this world.

They found each other.

But still they couldn't be together, not with Grace being in his life, and so they learned to accept that.

Until one day his family got too mixed up with the Italians, and people got killed.

A mistake was made and the guilt ate away at him. The guilt that his wife was killed instead of him. The guilt that the woman he loves could've taken that bullet as well.
The guilt that he loved another woman while he was married...

Feeling as if he were to avenge his deceased wife, he can fully be free.

Tommy stopped the car in front of the entry way of the Arrow House.

Not getting out right away, staying frozen in his seat.

He almost lost who he was. The boys did as they were asked and brought Mr. Changretta to him alive.
When he saw him, Tommy thought about how Grace was dead. He thought about how his family destroyed Bella's. All he could see was red. He wanted to do terrible things to the man, make him suffer.

But then Arthur shot him and cut his plans short.

He knows it was for the best. That man wasn't the man he wants to be.

He wants to be someone that his family can be proud of.

Thats why he didn't tell Bella about what he was doing today. Feeling shame about it, He didn't want her to know what he planned to do to the man. But it was finished now.

And once the Russians and the priest are out of the picture they can live in peace.

Tommy asked Bella to stay at the Arrow House today with Charlie. To which she didn't argue about, happily staying with the baby.

His head felt heavy on his shoulders as he walked up the front steps of the house.

It was dark down stairs when he entered. With a sigh, he made his way upstairs. Going straight to his bedroom to change out of his suit. He felt dirty.

He stood in only his boxers, looking over himself in the mirror. Letting his eyes go over every scar and mark he saw.

Then there was a knock on the door. Tearing his eyes away. He turned to face the dresser.