Discovery

73.

July turned into August, and Fred had to go back to the joke shop. He stopped by a few times a week, but that didn't stop me from feeling very lonely.

I knew it was my own doing, of course. It was my fault I felt isolated.

The trio (and Ginny) were still begging me to come to the Burrow. I had missed the dinner with Fleur and Harry's birthday, but I just couldn't face them yet. I ignored their mail, stuffing the envelopes into my dresser where they would be forgotten.

Part of me was still furious at Harry, for demanding to go to the Ministry despite the sketchy circumstances. If he had just taken time to think and realize it didn't make sense...

But there was no hope dwelling on the past. Miranda was gone. And I was mad at Harry.

"I still think it's a bad idea to ignore them," Fred remarked lightly, holding me close as we layed in bed.

Fred had stopped by for dinner, and Mum thought that made the perfect excuse for her and Sirius to leave and collect my school books. She hated the idea of leaving me alone in the house— given the state of the world and my own mind— so Fred was to keep me company until they returned.

"You don't get it," I sighed, running a finger up his arm. "Harry, Ron, and Hermione have a tendency to...stick together. They don't pay attention to what goes on outside their little circle. Since I didn't go back to school, I don't fit inside the circle anymore."

"That's not true!" Fred protested. "They ask about you all the time, Ella. They still care about you."

"They do, yes, but they will put whatever "mission" they have ahead of me— ahead of all their friends and family. Just watch, they'll choose being heroes over their safety, and ours, any day."

Fred was silent, because he knew I was right. Whether it was finding the Sorceror's Stone or fighting You-Know-Who, Harry, Ron, and Hermione would not stop until they finished what they started. I had a feeling they would only take on bigger challenges as things got darker, threatening the safety of everyone I loved. So it was better that I stayed out of it. I couldn't bear to lose anyone else.

***

"Please don't make me go!" I whined, lugging my trunk down the stairs.

It was the first of September, and I was not eager to go back to school. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my home, or my family, who had been a safe haven to me over the last few months. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Fred, either...

"You'll be alright," Sirius called from the bottom of the steps, fixing his hair in a mirror.

"Where's Mum?" I asked, enchanting my trunk to float down the staircase with ease.

"She's not coming," Sirius said quickly, headed towards the door.

"Why not?"

"She's not feeling up to it."

"She has to come, you can't be seen—"

"—My name is being cleared—"

"It isn't cleared yet—"

"—Listen, Ella," Sirius spun around, his face contorted in an expression of anger and impatience. "This is hard for all of us, alright? But we can't just let you drop out of school!"

"Fine," I stormed past him. "Let's go then."

"Don't you want to say goodbye to her?" he asked in a softer tone.