Burns Of Blades (Book 4)

Chapter 21: To John (Joseph's PoV)

Julia was in fact walking with me, as it was that she did in fact have a bit of a sad smile on her face. As it was that she did in fact just seem to be thinking back on to just what it was that I would have to guess. Was of course the time that it was that we had in fact had with one another, at that.
As I kind of just seemed to let out quite a bit of a rough sigh to my self, all at the exact same time too. As I kind of felt like I could not help but to kind of wish that it was that a moment like this. Was some thing that it was that could in fact last for ever, all at the exact same time too.
But sadly, I knew that it was not the case what so ever. As I knew that it was that very soon from now, all at the exact same time as well. That I was in fact going to have to go back to my legion, all at the exact same time too, all at once. As I knew that the next day that I would get to spend with her, would not be til my 21st birthday here in a few months, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to stand there, and I had in fact just seemed to stare for just a few moments, all at once. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly stop my self, all at the exact same time too, at that. And I just stared at the sun set that was in fact right in front of me, all at once.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to do as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time too. That was when I just then in the end, did in fact just seem to start to suddenly begin to start to let out a bit of a heavy sigh to my self. As I knew that Julia had in fact noticed as to the fact that it was in fact the case, at that. As I was simply just trying to calm my self down, all at the exact same time too. Which I knew that she also knew was in fact the case, at that, never the less.
As it was that we both then did in fact just seem to start to stare at the sun set with one another for just a little bit more time, all at once. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly go right on ahead. And I just then did in fact begin to start to speak on over towards her, all at the exact same time as well.
I just seemed to stare at the sun for just  a little bit more time as it was that I had in fact just seemed to do as such a thing like that, all at once. As I then did in fact begin to start to notice that it was out of the corner of my eyes, all at once. That she just then did in fact begin to start to nod right back on over towards me, at that. As it was clear to me that she was in fact letting me know that she did in fact have her full attention on to just what it was that I was in fact about to go on ahead and say on over towards her, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to realize that it was in fact the case, all at the exact same time too. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to look on over towards her, all at once, at that. And I just then did in fact begin to start to continue to speak on over towards her. As I knew that it was that she of course was in fact just beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I did in fact feel like I even needed to say on over towards her, all at once.
"I wish that a moment like this could last for ever... I've felt so lonely with out you these last few years... But I know that you are so close, that is the worst part about it..." I said to her, all at the exact same time too, as I kind of felt a little bit sick as to just what it was that I had said to her. As it kind of hurt me to say those words out loud, never the less, at that.
I kind of just did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and as normal as I felt like I possibly could do in the mean time, all at once. As I just seemed to stand there, and I just then did in fact just seem to stare for just a few moments, all at once. As I just seemed to look down at the ground with a bit of a look of some pain on my face as it was that I had in fact just seemed to do as such a thing like that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to continue to do as such a thing like that, all at once. That was when I felt Julia put her hand on my shoulder, all at the exact same time too. As I once again turned my head back on over towards her, all at once.
As I saw that it was that she was now leaning in towards me for a hug, all at the exact same time too. It had been such a long time since it was that I had in fact had one of those, as I almost felt like this could not be real what so ever, at that.
As it was that we had in fact just seemed to hold on to that hug for just a little bit more time, all at once. That was when in the end, all at the exact same time too, at that. She then did in fact just seem to start to let go of me, all at the exact same time too. As she just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly look at me right in to my eyes, all at once.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to realize, and I had in fact just seemed to start to notice that it was the case, all at once. That was when I realized that she was in fact being for real with me right now. As just a few seconds after that, all at the exact same time too. She just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly nod right back on over towards me, as it was clear that she was about to speak to me.
As it was that she had in fact just seemed to start to go right on ahead and do as such a thing her self, all at the exact same time too. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to nod right back on over towards her, all at the exact same time too. As I did in fact let her know that I was in fact paying my full attention as to just what ever it was that she did in fact feel like she even needed to say on over towards me, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to notice, and I had in fact just seemed to start to stare for just a few moments more. That was when she just then did in fact just as it was that she had planned. She then did in fact begin to start to continue to speak to me, all at the exact same time too. As I of course just then did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what ever it was that she did in fact feel like she even needed to say on over towards me, all at the exact same time as well.
"Well... This can still be that way... You just have to let me..." She said to me, all at the exact same time too. As I was in fact a little bit lost as to just what it was that she had even said to me at first, all at the exact same time too. As I did in fact just seem to tilt my head a little bit on over towards her, all at the exact same time as well.
As it was that she had in fact just seemed to start to get as to the fact that I had not really under stood as to just what it was that she had in fact even been getting at, all at once. That was when she just then did in fact begin to start to roll her eyes on over towards me, all at once. As in the end, I just then in fact begin to start to suddenly see her look away from me.
As it was that she was in fact clearly not looking in to the sun set at all right now, at that. But she was in stead beginning to look on over towards where it was that the camp was at, all at the exact same time too, at that. As at first I still was not all too sure as to just what it was that she had in fact even meant on over towards just what it was that she was in fact even doing, all at the exact same time too.
How ever, in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to let it hit me, all at the exact same time too. As a bit of some fear then did in fact begin to start to trickle down me, all at the exact same time as well. As I did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, all at the exact same time too, at that.
As in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to see that it was that Julia then did in fact begin to start to turn her head back on over towards me, all at the exact same time too. As I saw that her eyes were a bit wide, all at the exact same time as well. As it was that she was trying to see as to just how it was that I would react to it. And to see if it was that I was in fact okay as to just what it was that she was even getting at just now.
Which I felt like just for my own sake, and for her own sake, I was not okay with it. As I knew that she did not have a single clue as to just what it was that she was in fact even getting her self in to, at that. But I also knew that it was that it was not up to me, all at the exact same time too, all at once.
I felt like if it was that she decided that she wanted to join the legion, just as it was that John had told me. That it was not up to me to say no to her, all at the exact same time too. I kind of just did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and as normal as I felt like I possibly could, all at once.
As in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly go right on ahead, all at once. And I just then did in fact begin to start to gulp on over towards my self, at that. As I felt like I wanted to once again just straight up lie to her like I had the first time, all at the exact same time too.
But in the end, I just felt like the amount of guilt that I felt like I would feel if it was that I was in fact do as such a thing like that. Would in fact just seem to start to take over me, all at the exact same time too. As I kind of just in the end, all at the exact same time too, all at once. I then did in fact just seem to let her a bit of a heavy sigh to my self, at that.
As in the end, I just then did in fact just seem to start to get my mind, and my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts, all at once. As I just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly just nod right back on over towards her, at that. As I let her know that it was that I was in fact about to go on ahead and speak on over towards her, all at the exact same time too, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to do as such a thing like that, all at once. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead, all at the exact same time too, all at once. And I just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly get my mind, and my focus on to the fact that it was that she just then did in fact just seem to nod back on over to me. As it was clear that she was letting me know that she did in fact have her full attention on to just what it was that I did in fact feel like I needed to say on over towards her, all at once.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to see her do as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time too. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly continue to speak on over towards her. As I knew that it was that she was in fact beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I did in fact feel like I even needed to say to her just now, at that.
"Look Julia... I am not going to lie to you this time... It is completely up to you... Though, I think you will regret it if you do join us... It is hard work, and hard labor all of the time... It's not like we are going to be snuggle buddies..." I said to her, all at the exact same time too, all at once, at that. As I kind of just stared at her right in to her eyes, just as soon as it was that I had in fact just said as to just what it was that I had even said on over to her, never the less.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to continue to stand there and stare right in to her eyes for just a bit more time, all at once. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly see her squint her eyes on over towards me. As it was clear that for some odd reason it was that she was not all too happy as to just what it was that I had said to her.
As I kind of felt a little bit bad as to the way that it was that I had in fact kind of phrased the way that I had in fact said as to just what it was that I had said to her, at that. As it almost seemed like I was in fact mocking her a little bit, all at the exact same time too. As I felt like I could not help but to once again show a bit of a guilty look on my face, as soon as it was that I had in fact realized as to just what it was that I had said to her, never the less.
For all that it was that I also knew how ever, all at the exact same time too, never the less. She also could not be happy as to the fact that it was that it was just the simple fact that I was letting her know that I was not going to be with her 24/7. Though I kind of doubted that it was the case, at that, as I doubt that it was that she would be that petty.
I kind of just seemed to continue to stand there, and I kind of just seemed to continue to stare at her for just a little bit more time, all at the exact same time too, all at once. As in the end, I just then did in fact just seem to start to continue to go right on ahead, all at the exact same time too, at that. And I just then did in fact begin to start to see her shake her head on over towards me. As it was clear that she was letting me know that she was in fact about to speak on over towards me.
I kind of just seemed to stare down at the ground for a little bit longer, as I still felt a bit bad as to just the things that I had said to her. But in the end, I just then did in fact eventually lift my head up, all at once. And I just then did in fact begin to start to nod right back on over towards her. As I let her know that I was in fact paying my full attention on to just what it was that she did in fact feel she even needed to say on over towards me, at that.
As it was that she had in fact just seemed to start to notice me do as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time too, at that. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to hear her begin to start to speak on over towards me once again, at that. As I of course, just then did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what ever it was that she did in fact feel like she even needed to say on over towards me in the very first place any ways, none the less.
"Look Joseph... I am miserable here... I am always so bored, and I am always so lonely... So even just a little bit of time during the day is better than nothing... I can't just sit here and waste my life doing nothing..." She said to me, as I heard a lot of pain in her voice. Just as soon as it was that she had in fact just said as to just what it was that she had even said to me, at that.
I felt bad as soon as it was that she had in fact said as to just what it was that she had even said to me. As I had to guess as to the fact that it was, that she was in fact being for real with just what it was that she had said to me. As I kind of just seemed to let out quite a bit of a soft sigh to my self, all at the exact same time too.
I had never really thought of it like that, as I had simply only been thinking that I was protecting her. I had not thought on to the fact that it was that she was in fact lonely every day. As well as the fact that it was that she was bored all of the time, all at the exact same time too, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to look at her right in to her eyes for a little bit more of some time. I just then began to start to think on just how hard, and how gruesome the training was, never the less. As at the very least I could in fact say as to the fact that there were people to talk to a lot of the time. And that it was not boring what so ever, none the less.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to think on that for just a little bit more time, all at once. I just then also did in fact begin to start to remember that it was, all at once. That Chad was in fact also a part of the legion, never the less, at that. And whilst it was that he had in fact been cool, and he had in fact been fine with me for quite a bit of some time, never the less.
I also knew that he was a very big guy, and I did not want to tempt him what so ever, and I did not want to anger him what so ever, all at the exact same time too, at that. I kind of just did my best to try to keep my self as calm as I felt like I possibly could, all at the exact same time too, at that. As I just then in the end, then did in fact begin to start to gulp quite a bit heavily to my self, all at once.
I kind of felt like as it was that I had always told my self if it was that I had ever got in to a spot like it was that I was in right now. That I would never let greed, and I would never let power control my decisions, never the less. But yet, here I was letting all of that do as such a thing to me right at this very moment in time as well.
I kind of just did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and as normal as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, all at once. As in the end, I just closed my eyes for just a few seconds, as I did my best to try to think. And I just did my best to give my self a little bit of some breathing room, all at the exact same time too.
As it was that I had a bit of some time to feel the silence for just a little bit of some time, all at the exact same time too, never the less. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to feel a little bit better about every thing that was going on all of the sudden. As I felt like now it was time to make the hard decision that I knew that I did in fact have to make right now.
As it was that I had began to start to realize that it was in fact the case, all at the exact same time as well. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to open my eyes, all at the exact same time too. And I just then did in fact begin to start to look right on over towards Julia. As I stared at her right in to her eyes for quite a bit of some time, all at the exact same time as well, never the less.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to do as such a thing like that for just a little bit longer, all at the exact same time too. That was when I then did in fact just begin to start to go right on ahead in the end, all at once. I just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly nod right back on over towards her. As I let her know that I was about to speak to her.
As it was that she had in fact just seemed to start to notice me do as such a thing like that on over towards her, all at once. She at first did in fact just seem to blink her eyes a few times, all at the exact same time too. As in the end, she just then did in fact begin to start to nod right back on over towards me, at that. As it was clear to me that she was in fact paying her full attention as to just what it was that I did in fact feel like I even needed to say on over towards her right now.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to realize as to the fact that it was in fact the case, all at the exact same time too. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly continue to speak on over towards her. As I now knew as to the fact that she was in fact just beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I felt like I even needed to say to her right now.
"Well... Julia... This is up to you, as this is not my decision... Chad is going to be there with us... I... I am just trying to protect you..." I said to her, as I kind of gulped quite a bit, as soon as it was that I had in fact just said as to just what it was that I had even said on over towards her, all at once. As it was that I had in fact said as to just what it was that I had even said on over towards her, all at once.
That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to let out quite a bit of a soft sigh to my self, all at the exact same time too. As in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to get my mind, and my focus off of all of the rest of that other stuff, once again. As I felt like I felt sick, and I still felt scared as to just what it was that I was doing.
I already knew as to just what it was that the answer was going to be on over towards what it was that I had said to her, at that. But I had simply only said as to just what it was that I had in fact even said on over towards her at the end, at that. As it was one last shot in desperation, that she would in fact decide to change her mind, at that.
How ever, as it was that I saw the look in her eyes. It was clear that no matter what it was that I felt like I had in fact even just said to her, all at the exact same time too. That she had already made up her mind, and that there was by no way, and by no means that she was going to switch it up at this point, all at the exact same time too, all at once, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to continue to stare in to the eyes of Julia for just a few more seconds of some time, at that. That was when she just then did in fact begin to start to continue to speak on over towards me once again, at that. As I kind of just seemed to gulp a bit to my self, just as soon as it was that she had in fact just began to start to do as such a thing like that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to stand there, and I had in fact just seemed to stare for just a few more seconds, all at once. That was when I just then did in fact decide that it was that I was in fact just going to go right on ahead, all at the exact same time as well. And that I was in fact just going to nod right back on over towards her, all at once.
As it was clear to me that I was in fact letting her know that I was in fact paying my full attention to her, all at the exact same time too. Which still did not make me feel any better what so ever, at that. But it was clear that it had in fact at least made her feel some what better, all at the exact same time too, once again.
As she just then did in fact just seem to start to continue to go right on ahead, all at once. And she just then did in fact begin to start to continue to speak on over towards me. As I of course just did in fact just seem to start to continue to start to listen as to just what ever it was that she did in fact feel like she even needed to say on over towards me in the very first place any ways, none the less, at that.
"I know you are trying to protect me Joseph... But I am ready to do some thing with my life... This is worse than it was before..." She said to me, all at the exact same time too. As I just then did in fact begin to start to see that she did in fact have her eyes quite a bit wide, just as soon as it was that she had in fact just said as to just what ever it was that she had even said to me, never the less.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to continue to stand there, and I had in fact just seemed to continue to stare for just a few seconds longer, all at the exact same time too. That was when I just then in the end, just then did in fact begin to start to get my mind, and my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts once again. As I saw that as it was that we had in fact just seemed to stand there and stare at one another for just a little bit longer, all at the exact same time too.
That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to notice, all at the exact same time as well. That she just then did in fact begin to start to smile right back on over towards me. Which did in fact just seem to make things feel about a hundred times better, just as soon as it was that she had in fact just seemed to start to do as such a thing like that all of the sudden.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to stand there, and I had in fact just seemed to stare for just a little bit more time, all at once. That was when in the end, I just then did in fact just seem to start to feel a little bit better as to just all that it was that was even going on right at this very moment in time as well, never the less.
As in the end, I just then did in fact just seem to start to suddenly go right on ahead, all at the exact same time too, all at once. And I just then did in fact just seem to start to suddenly calm my self down, as well. As I just then did in fact just seem to start to suddenly get my mind, and my focus off of all of the rest of the stuff that had to do with all of that.
As I just then began to start to remember that the sun was in fact setting right now. And if it was that Julia was in fact just going to get this all started, at that. Than I needed to hurry up and get this in to business, and I needed to go fast, as there was a lot of things that I needed to do tonight if that was the case.
As it was that I had in fact just began to start to realize as to just what it was that I was in fact doing right now, never the less. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly nod right back on over towards her, all at the exact same time too. As I did in fact just seem to start to let her know as to the fact that I was about to start to continue to speak right back on over towards her, all at once.
As it was that she had in fact just seemed to start to notice as to the fact that it was that I had in fact just seemed to do as such a thing like that. She did not seem to hesitate one bit. But to go right on ahead and nod right back on over towards me. As I just then did in fact just seem to start to suddenly begin to notice that she was in fact paying her full attention as to just what it was that I was about to say on on over towards her, never the less.
As soon as it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to notice, and I had in fact just began to start to realize as to the fact that it was in fact the case, none the less. That was when I just then did in fact begin to start to suddenly continue to do as just that. As I just then did in fact begin to speak towards her, all at once. As I knew that it was, that she was in fact just now beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I did in fact feel like I even needed to say on over towards her in the very first place any ways, at that.
"Okay... First I have to say goodbye to my sister... Then next we have to go and speak to John..."