Falling For My Trainers

~30~ No Words

I run up the stairs and into the guest room where I'm staying and I lay on the bed and stare at the wall. The blankets are up to my chin, and I run through everything that could be wrong to make both Ace and Peyton cry. Does she love Ace? Is she moving? Did someone die? Is anyone sick? Did he get her pregnant!? "Jacob?" Ace says, gently knocking on my door. "Yeah?" "Can we come in?" I don't move or say anything. "Please?" Peyton lightly says. "Fine." I still stay covered up and face the wall, opposite the door. 

"So, uhm we have something to tell you." I stay still. She's pregnant. She's fucking pregnant. I have a feeling. In my gut.

"Peyton, you can go first," Ace says, sniffling. Is he still crying? Emotional motherfucker. 

"I'll give you two some privacy." Ace walks out of the room and closes the door behind him. I turn around and face Peyton. She looks nervous. She's breathing heavily and she's rubbing her palms together.

"I-I think I love you." I fucking knew- wait what? I sit up and stare at her. Did I hear her correctly? Did she say she loves me?

~/\~ Trigger Warning ~/\~

"Wait, what?"

"Jacob, I think I'm in love with you. No, I know I'm in love with you and it feels so good, but so wrong at the same time because I want you. I want to love you with everything in me, but it feels so wrong because I hurt Ace. I didn't know he loved me and I just found out and he described how badly it hurt him every time we hug or kiss or touch or even look at each other. I love you. I love you so fucking much, but I don't know if I can." Peyton is gasping for air and she grabs her chest and falls to the ground. I rush to the floor where she's at. Her face is turning purple and she's struggling to breathe. She keeps clawing at her throat and chest and tears are streaming down her beautiful face. She grabs my hand and squeezes tightly. The more she tries to breathe, the more purple her face turns.

"Peyton look at me." Her eyes are starting to roll to the back of her head and I don't know what to do so I start shaking her. "Peyton! Peyton breathe. Look at me." Her eyes slowly travel to mine. "Good. Look at me. Copy my breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth." I pick her up and hold her closer to me. I grab her wrist and check her pulse and it's slowing down. "Come on! Breathe for me. Breathe!" She's wheezing and still gasping for air. "Please breathe. I love you too! I love you so fucking much. Just please look at me. Please follow my breathing." She's trying. I can tell she's trying, but it's not working. "Please breathe!" I hold her closer to my chest and cradle her. I run to the door and shout for Ace. "Ace! Ace! Help! She's not breathing!" The music from downstairs is so loud, I don't know if he can hear me, but he bursts through my door and he looks horrified when he sees Peyton's face. I look down at her and I watch as her eyes roll to the back of her head. "No! No! No! No! Peyton, wake up. Come on. Wake up for me. Please!"

Ace looks up at me in horror and he runs down the stairs. "Where's Mrs. Grace?" Ace shouts as he runs through the house with me trailing behind him. "I think she left right as the party started," I call out to him and he stops dead in his tracks. "Are there any adults here?" "My- My mom!" I run in front of Ace and into my mom's room. She slammed her book shut and put her glasses on top of her head. "What the hell is going on?"

"Peyton had a panic attack and now she's not breathing!" My mom sits up further and holds her hands to her mouth. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay, okay. Where's her mom?"

"She left. Mom what do I do!" I shout hugging Peyton's unresponsive body to mine.

"Lay her flat on the ground," She shimmies out of bed and sinks onto the floor with us. "Start doing heart compressions." 

"For a panic attack?"

"Well, is her heart beating?"

I grab her wrist and feel a light pulse.

"Barley."

"Oh honey, I don't know what to do. Try CPR anyways? Maybe mouth to mouth?"

"They never trained me on this type of situation during training!" I shout, fighting back tears.

I start CPR anyway, pumping for 30 and pinching the nose, and breathing into her mouth for two counts.

"Breathe damnit!" I shout, still giving heart compressions. I hear her ribs break under my hands and I can't hold back the tears anymore.

"Honey, it's okay." My mom scootches closer to me and rubs my back.

"She just told me she loves me and how my best friend also loves her and how she's scared to love me fully, even though she already does and now I'm literally breaking her. Mom, I killed her!" My chest gets tight and my fingers start tingling. I'm starting to gasp for air but refuse to give up.

"Honey, not you too! You didn't kill her, I promise. Breathe with me." I'm too weak to do compressions so I start punching her chest. I can't pay attention to my mom anymore and It's getting harder and harder for me to breathe. Everything is starting to go black and one last tear slips out the corner of my eyes and I fall to the ground, whispering to Peyton, "I'm sorry."

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I have no words.

lmk ab typos and the length. Thanks!

~Lia

Question of the chapter: Favorite season?