The Essence of Balencia

I wish to smell heaven



ROTTEN. A putrid, ghastly smell infected the sticky brittle air that invaded her lungs. A fitting feeling for one with a suffocated future and stifled life. Every reluctant breath she took of the repugnant air, conjured sickening nausea. It smelt as if the air itself were decomposing like a dead body. She wished to throw up. She wished to show the onlookers just how disgusted she truly was.

"Perhaps if I did throw up, these vile beings would then, reconsider their inhumane behaviour? Ah who am I kidding?" she said to herself, shaking her head. Alas this young woman knew deep down that wanting the people to care was little more than wishful thinking. Like expecting to find water in a scorching desert before dehydration seizes you. Such was the likeness in parable between that and wanting sympathy from the people.

"They'd only look at me with more disgust... the only thing to follow a draught is death. If my existence is a draught, then how long until death touches me?" the miserable maiden uttered to herself. "Ever since I was born, I've been waiting for death, yearning for it almost. Ever since... I was sold for such a small price..." she whispered to herself as her face became hot and she looked down, lamenting her hopeless existence. "It's all HIS fault!" she murmured through the clenched teeth. "That hopeless excuse for a man, he's not even worthy of owning his own name let alone a child! He sold me and mama! Was it because he found another woman? Who knows... but it's just me now, mama is gone and my fathe... no that man may as well be on another planet for all I care." she continued.

"But (sniff, sob) but!" the woeful woman muttered in the throws of her languish. "But why? WHY!? Why would a father sell his own daughter, his wife, his family into a world of misery, humiliation and slavery? Has he no honour or pride? Why didn't he want me? Want us!?" she emphatically questioned as tears descended from her sorrowful eyes. All this pure soul ever wanted was to run through sun kissed meadows of green grass and beautiful flowers. To have the wind caress her hair as she would live in blissful harmony with her parents. But the world was much too cruel for her dream to be birthed. Truly, she felt that perhaps, such a dream will only be realised after she is finally touched by the cold grasp of death. Only then, would she find happiness in the afterlife.

This young, unfortunate girl's past was irretrievable just as her name was. Her mother used to call her by it all the time, but now, to recall such a memory is to grasp at water, hoping to take hold of it. Alas, where she was from and who she is was but a forgotten relic, lost to the passages of time.

Maybe it was because with every master she had, would also come a new name bestowed upon her; her most recent one being Hemp. The slave girl looked around her, absorbing the sight of slaves all lined up and obnoxious men bidding over them all, like veracious piranha's.

"Humiliated, subjugated. Used and abused. Sold... for a measly price. Devoid of identity until our new masters lend us one. Boy, girl, it doesn't matter. All that matters is putting a smile on the master's face, lest you become unknown..." the slave girl muttered to herself with a raspy crackle in her voice. "I yearned to be alone, but now I see it is far better to be with a master..." she continued, hunched over, with her hair drooped downwards covering her face. For indeed she knew submission to a master to be far more desirable than sleeping on the streets with one eye open. Though both lead to misery... "I- I just (sniffle) I want to be free.... (Sniffle) no. I can't let them see these tears. Heartless. I have to be heartless!" the broken slave girl whimpered emphatically to herself.

"1000 CIDAR FOR THE LONG HAIRED ONE!" an eager voice boomed.

"No- no, not me!" she uttered as her heart dropped. "(Sigh) What was I expecting, this bidding war has been going on for 15 minutes already. Of course I'd get sold sooner or later." she lamented. The tortured soul looked up, catching a glimpse of her soon to be master. And there he stood, a tall slim man dressed in black, with pure gold sown into his garment. "I see he's at least a man of wealth." she said to herself.