Trust Is Like A Glass

Partial Lie

"Are you angry at me, Baekhyun?" Chanyeol asks Baekhyun while driving the car.

"For what?" Baekhyun replies timidly while looking through the window.

"For my wish...," Chanyeol picks up the words selectively.

"Chanyeol, there were lots of ups and downs in our relationship. A lot of things have happened. But you never talked about having a wanted baby with love. Even I conceived Woohyun unwantedly," Baekhyun says like he was prepared for this question.

"Woohyun was never unwanted to me..." Chanyeol interrupts.

"Such a long relationship,but we never discussed having a baby out of love between us. Instead we discussed a lot about contraceptive methods. Even when I was not ready for an intimate relationship, you were concerned since the first. I was so young, but with time I have found it selfish thinking a lot about it. Have you ever imagined a picture of our full family, Chanyeol?" 

"Obviously... I thought... The time we met, you were so young. I didn't want to interfere in your freedom. Since first was it not my duty to ensure what is better for your health or not? Is it not a part of family planning? We had a long way in front us. I always wanted to build up a better commitment. Even if it failed, it was destiny. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if Woohyun was not here? Woohyun is obviously a baby made by our love, whether you recognize it or not.  Woohyun is a blessing for both of us. I always dreamt of having a bunch of kids in our family. But I never had the courage to ask you, especially after what happened just before Woohyun's birth. I never knew my mistake would result in such a mishap," Chanyeol explains himself.

"Sometimes I feel like those things never happened in my life, I was always like this. Up to my early twenties , I heard stories of several aristocratic families who went bankrupt and led miserable lives. But until then what happened to me, I understood the worst had happened to me. I lost everything within just 12 hours. From an aristocrat I hadto become a mother who had to do part-time work in restaurants to buy milk for my baby. I couldn't feed milk to Woohyun because I was sick. Only because I wanted Woohyun to have a better life, I returned to Korea. I was never a better mother. I don't think I can be."

Chanyeol flinches his eyebrows and says in a patient calm voice,"You have done well. Woohyun doesn't have any complaints against you. Baekhyun,can you please focus on our present life ,just keeping the past aside? We can't fix the past, but can fix the present and build our future. I was just a stupid, irresponsible guy back then. But with time, I have changed. Don't you think so?. You don't have to be perfect or better. This is what me and Woohyun both love about you. You are always the centre of our family. I think a daughter can be the light of our family to make us focus on bonding, don't you think so?"

"I lost a baby, got a baby and have lost the ability to bear a baby,but you... We never had any plans for a baby. Is it time to think about a baby again? I don't know whether it's gonna be wrong or right?" Baekhyun sighs.

"Trust me , Baekhyun. I thought about it thousands of times. I always wanted one son and one daughter for us. I just never knew when to say it. We already have an adorable son. I just didn't know when to ask you for one more. And it's not like that I will be the one to carry the baby in my tummy. Carrying a baby is one of the toughest jobs to do. Thinking about your health and your load of work, I was waiting. I thought there's a lot of time ahead of us to get more babies. You are not even in your thirties... Baekhyun, don't you trust me?" Chanyeol asks while not knowing what to say more.

"In the search of truth ,the dream of a happy family I drew in my mind has faded...," Baekhyun leaves a deep sigh to hide the tear attempt stuck in his throat. But his voice trembles, failing to relieve the lump of tears in throat. In a trembling voice he continues, "Recently I had a dream. It was in Byun mansion. I was standing on the terrace of my old room. There were two cribs kept in my room. Dad was there,you were there... This is what I felt, when I entered into a relationship with you...But.... You....," Baekhyun wipes the tear over his cheek. He takes deep breaths to control himself. More tear drops fall from Baekhyun's eyes over his lap.

"Oh God!.... Baekhyun-ah," Chanyeol hurriedly stops his car at one side of the road.

Baekhyun covers his face with part of his blazer while trying best to wipe the constantly falling tears from eyes.

"Don't cry for God 's sake. I wish I could go back to that time,and fix everything. I wish I had everything in the palm of my hand. Can you please forgive me just for once? I still don't know what happened to me on that fateful day. Baekhyun, please forgive me ... Please," Chanyeol holds Baekhyun's hand which is busy clenching his blazer to control his tears. 

"You... You destroyed everything in just a blink of an eye," Baekhyun hiccups in between the words.

"It wasn't me, Baekhyun... There was someone else. How could I know it was leading in such a way? If I knew, I would never let it happen...,"

" Do you need to know before something happens? Is this how you are going to save your family? This is how you...."

"Forgive me. I got involved in this without knowing anything, although I still don't know anything about it. Forgive me, I won't break your trust anymore in future," Chanyeol makes Baekhyun touch his chest over his heart.

"Chanyeol, I want an honest answer from you. Were you really not involved in my father's case? Did you not know anything from before? Or did you never knew anything about why my father was murdered?" Baekhyun asks, looking at Chanyeol's eyes.

"Answer of your every question is no," Chanyeol lies partially while taking time looking at Baekhyun's eyes.

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For those who wanted long long episodes...

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