CAKE

Fifty-Three

Kathryn 

"Who stays here?" Brooklyn questioned, glancing at me, confused about our visit. 

Shaking my head, I exit the car and stare at the cabin. I can't help but frown as memories play games with my reality. I glance at the driveway, remembering us like it was yesterday. I sigh as I glance at the cabin. "I was foolish for even having you bring me here," I mutter once Brooklyn meets my side.

She eyes me in confusion, not understanding what here was. 

"Remember when I finally decided to come home for Christmas?" I question, not waiting for an answer as I continue. "Well the reason I was gone most of the time, was because I was here... with Casey and her friends."

She lets out a breath, "Oh, that makes sense." 

I nod my head. "I guess I brought you here because a little part of me hoped she was still here. But I'm sure that was stupid of me to think," I spit rubbing the side of my face. Brooklyn stops me before I can go any further. 

Her eyes meet my gaze, forcing me to frown. She didn't have to say anything, I could read it in her eyes. Letting out a breath, I turn back to the cabin. "Where do you think she is?" Brooklyn questions, glancing at the empty cabin as well.

I part my lips and glance up at the sky. "I don't know and I don't care."

"You do, Kathryn. You care," she quickly mutters. 

Sighing, I glance at my sister. "Why? Why should I? She didn't care. She doesn't care..." I trail. I didn't want to talk about her anymore or ever, really. Thinking about her reminds me of the things I lost—Hope, Christian... her. Myself included. 

But I knew what she was doing. It's better to let it out than to keep it in. 

"I thought committing... would bring her back. Kind of trying to manipulate her into coming back. I thought taking my life would change our relationship. Make it what it used to be, I was silly for thinking that way. You can't make someone come back if they don't want to. And she's let me know that she doesn't want to." 

Clenching my jaw, I clear my throat and avert my gaze. 

Sighing, I lean against the car. "I understand not wanting to talk about her because she left, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. Talking about the things that piss us off, helps us move on a lot quicker than we know," Brooklyn smiles softly as she leans against the car, her brown eyes on me.

I can only roll my eyes. "The thing is, you're trying to get better without going through the full grieving process." I frown in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"Hope and Christian. You haven't gotten over their deaths and it doesn't help that you're trying to get over Casey." I scoff, "What are you? My psychologist?" I question, slightly annoyed that she was reading me like an open book. 

She smiles, shaking her head. "No, I'm just a concerned sister. We were never really close, I always regretted not getting to know you better. And knowing... hearing that you tried to commit suicide made me feel..." she let out a breath and forced her eyes away from me.

"I already know we don't have an estimated time of how long we live. But I was scared, hearing the news that my baby sister was in the hospital and she tried to take her life. Do you know how much it hurt us to hear that? We're all trying to be understanding."