CAKE

One Hundred-Three

Kathryn 

Frowning, I stare at myself in the mirror. I looked like an absolute mess. After having the talk with Mateo, I didn't see him for three days and each day I didn't see him... I cried. I could only assume his disappearance meant the end of our relationship. I couldn't help but feel remorseful. Mateo didn't deserve the hurt I gave him.

And I didn't deserve the love he gave me. The truth hurts. It always does. I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I didn't talk to him about it. Would our breakup in the future be worse? Would he hate me more than he probably does now?

My heart felt heavy. And all I could think was that I pushed him further into Stephanie's arms. There's no getting him back. There's no longer an us. I just royally fucked up and don't know how to fix it.

Knocking on the door startles me causing me to exit the restroom, hopeful. I rush to the door and open it. The excitement to see my boyfriend disappears as I'm instead met with the face of his best friend. I try not to show my disappointment on my face, to no avail.

Stephanie frowns. "Sorry... am I bothering you?" she questions.

Sighing, I shake my head. I step to the side letting her inside, wondering why she was here. Maybe Mateo asked her to get his clothes so he didn't have to face me. Or maybe she was here to dump me for him. I let out a breath.

The woman enters the room, glancing around before turning to me. "Are you okay?" she questions, concern laced in her tone. I smile sadly and nod my head, though she and I both knew I wasn't. I wasn't okay. I don't think I will be for the next few days or weeks... maybe months. 

Who knows, maybe I wouldn't be able to get over our relationship... just like I never did with my relationship with Casey.

"Uh... well... I was coming to ask if you've seen Mateo?"

My brows raise as I eye her. "H-He wasn't with you?" I question, surprised. Stephanie opens her mouth before closing it, her eyes on me with as much confusion as I had. She eyes me for a few seconds longer before speaking up again. "I haven't seen him in days. And I just kind of expected to see him this morning since we had a meeting. He... He didn't show."

I let out yet another breath. That's not good. "I-I haven't seen him in three days... I kind of just assumed you two would've been together."

The Hispanic woman frowns as her brows knit together. "Why would we be together? I get I'm his best friend, but he's literally here with the woman he loves."

Her words cause me to clench my jaw and look away. He may have loved me before I told him the things I did. But I doubt he has an ounce of love for me anymore. "Uh... He may be," my words die on my lips. I didn't want to have to tell her we had a disagreement. Well, I didn't know what to call what happened. We didn't fight, we didn't disagree on anything. I just told him the truth.

I let out a breath and make my way to the foot of the bed. I take a seat and lean over, planting my elbows on my knees. I rub my face. These past few days have been crazy, to say the least. "Kathy?" I hear and glance at the woman standing awkwardly in the room.

I clench my jaw. "Are you sure you're alright? You... you look like you've been crying. And I know we're not exactly close but— I just want you to know you can talk to me."

Nodding my head I try to keep my tears at bay. I did need to talk to someone. And maybe it was a bad idea to do it with my boyfriend's best friend who I knew was in love with him. But I just needed to get it off my chest. I felt so guilty and terrible.

"I think— I think I messed up, Steph. Terribly and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this."

The woman lets out a breath as she takes a seat beside me.  God, I really messed up. I put my head in my hands as I inhale deeply before exhaling, mentally and emotionally drained. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to talk about my relationship with the woman who's in love with my boyfriend.