CAKE

One Hundred- Eleven

Kathryn 

Letting out a breath, I force myself out of bed, knowing sooner or later I'd have to clean up the mess I made 3 days ago. I clench my jaw, realizing there was no hiding it anymore. Mateo saw. He's gonna ask questions. I don't want to tell him. I never want to tell him about this version of me. 

Sniffing, I shake my head as I exit the bedroom. My eyes move around the living room and dining room, finding it cleaner than I left it. I also noticed the small note on the table. I make my way to it and grab it. Opening it, I find Mateo's gorgeous cursive handwriting. 

Hola, mi amor, I'm sorry I had to cut my stay short. I cleaned up as much as I could and I'm not expecting you to want to talk about anything yet and I'm not going to force you to. I might have already talked to Casey and got an understanding of everything. Just rest up, I'll be back Monday after work. I love you ♡

I clench my jaw as I set the note down. He's honestly too good for me. The sound of knocking grabs my attention. I had half expected for it to be Emily but when I opened the door, I was surprised to see Casey on the other side dressed in a baggy Astros shirt and shorts.

"Oh... Hey," I mutter, stepping aside and letting her in. "Hey, I'm not here to stay long, I just wanted to check on you."

I smile softly as I close the door behind me. "I'm doing okay. I've pretty much been sleeping the last few days since... that happened," I spit before my eyes drop to her bandaged arms and hand. I frown, getting only bits and pieces of my memory from that day. 

"Di-- did I do that?" I question, feeling like shit for hurting the one person who was always there for me. The brown-skinned woman glances at her arm before shaking her head. "No, Ryan did." Her words are like a knife cutting at my chest. No matter who did it, in a way, it was still me. 

Russet brown eyes land on me. "Are you really doing okay, Ryn?" she questions. I offer a small smile as I nod my head. "Thank you for helping. I know it gets annoying coming to my aid every time I have an episode."

Casey nods her head, averting her gaze. "We actually need to talk."

I chuckle, "We're not even together and I fear those words," I light-heartedly joke. The woman doesn't laugh with me as she glances around the apartment. Clearing my throat, I led her to the table in the dining room since the couch was destroyed. I groan internally, knowing I'd have to buy a new set. 

Once we're seated I notice Casey's nervous tactics kick in. The cheek biting, her moving her hands every few seconds unsure of where to put them, her knee bouncing. "Hey," I mutter grabbing her attention away from whatever was going on in that head of hers. 

She eyes me as I smile at her. "It's okay. Whatever you want to say, I'll be okay," I mutter, trying to calm her down. The brown-skinned woman eyes me for a bit longer before clearing her throat and nodding her head. My words are enough to stop her from biting her cheek and moving her hands.

Casey inhales and exhales before speaking up. "Uh... Well first off, I told Mateo about... everything," she mutters, eyes on me, waiting for an outburst of some sort. "Thank you," I mutter, knowing I wouldn't have been able to despite him seeing it for himself.

But I don't think it would've been good to trigger myself by talking about what caused my disorders. "You're not mad?" she questions.

I let out a breath and reach over to grab her hand. "Casey... it's..." I sigh again before continuing. "Mateo and I have been together for a year and 8 months and even though I knew I'd have to tell him sooner or later, I didn't and because I didn't, he didn't know how to be there for me and it resulted in you both getting hurt. Me and you both know I still wouldn't have told him shit because it could've triggered another episode."