CAKE

One Hundred Fifty-Six

Casey 

I jumped awake, sweat lining my forehead as my chest rose and fell. Groaning, I sit up and close my eyes as I try to calm my heart. This was the third time I woke up in a cold sweat and I wasn't entirely sure why. Every time I woke up, whatever I had been dreaming about vanished from my memory.

Clenching my jaw, I sigh.

"Are you okay?"

My eyes widen as I scream before reaching over to the nightstand and flicking the light on. My eyes land on Mallory standing in the doorway of my bedroom, an amused expression settling onto her features. 

I furrow my brows and blink slowly. "Wh...what are you doing here?" I question.

Mallory smiles sadly as she saunters into the bedroom. My eyes follow her hips as I swallow the lump in my throat. "I know you've been home for a while and I was waiting for you to call me... but you never did."

I clenched my jaw, watching the brown-skinned woman as she climbed into the bed. Her cognac-brown eyes were on me for a few seconds before she glanced down. My gaze followed hers, landing on the open black velvety box, exposing the sage jewel I used to propose nearly two weeks ago.

"I don't want to talk about it yet, Mallory," I spit, wrapping my hand around the box and pulling it from her grasp. She eyes me, "I don't either. I want to... I just want to be here. Is that okay?"

Frowning, I allow my gaze to meet hers. We eye each other for a beat before I give in. I pull back the blanket, letting her climb in. Her warmth engulfs me as she wraps her body around me. Letting out a breath, I turn the light off and lay back down.

Inhaling, I wrap my arms around her slender frame. "It's a beautiful ring, Casey," Mallory whispered into the room. I can only exhale, my grip on her tightening. I try to keep myself from speaking up about the situation. I knew we were going to break up but I wanted to do whatever it took to stop that from happening because I wasn't ready to let go yet.

"I can change, you know. I don't have to get married or have kids," I voice calmly.

Mallory sighed, her head shifting so she could glance at me. "I wouldn't ask you to do that, Casey. You'd only be miserable if you tried. The thing is... I love you like this. And if you tried to become someone you're not, I'd probably hate her."

"How would you know if we never try?" I question. My chest and throat suddenly felt tight as I tried to hold back my tears. 

Clearing her throat, Mallory reached over and turned the lamp back on before sitting beside me. I try to avoid her gaze but find it impossible when I feel her staring dead at me. After a few seconds, I allow my eyes to meet hers. 

Truthfully, we didn't need to say anything because we both knew what was going on. We knew the result. It was inevitable. "I wanted you to be my forever," I frown, unable to stop myself from crying. "After Kathryn... I thought I would never fall in love again but I did... with you."

Exhaling, Mallory forces her gaze away from me. "You should've never introduced me to your mom if you knew you didn't want to get married and I hate you for that. You roped me in and broke my heart," I spit.

Clenching her jaw, Cognac-brown eyes meet my gaze again, tears falling down her beautiful face. "I thought you'd change my mind when the time came."

"I can change my mind, right now. I would do that for you," I mutter.

Mallory sighs, "You would never forgive yourself. You'd hate me... you'd hate yourself... you'd be angry all the time. Casey, I love you. I am seriously in love with you... but not enough to give you the life you want. I thought things would be okay as long as we have each other but then I'd be someone I'm not to please you and I don't want to do that. To you or me."