CAKE

Ninety-Three

Kathryn

I can't help but smile softly as I pull my eyes away from my ex-fiance. So much for thinking I wouldn't run into her again here of all places. It's kind of weird to run into her here again. But according to her, Dr. Marcus... who was also my therapist was going to be out on Saturday so she switched her session to today. My day.

I couldn't help but wonder what they talk about during their sessions. A lot of things came to mind. Maybe Casey was finally opening up about how the death of our child and her father affected her. I truly hoped she did because I knew it still affected her mental and emotional health. I wanted her to get it off her chest so she could grieve and get better.

But I also couldn't help but think about her talking about me... our relationship... and how everything ended between us. God knows that's something I have to talk about. I have to get that off my chest. It's not like I'm hoping to forget and move on from that... I just want to talk to someone about it.

It wasn't like I could go to Emily or Cassandra. Neither was exactly an option. And I sure as hell couldn't talk to my boyfriend about my ex-fiance. That could end the relationship altogether as there are still things I feel for the woman that I'm not sure I know how to let go of.

Yes, I want to move on. Will I be able to, is the question that needed an answer. Casey... Casey means too much to me to not have her in my life romantically. But I didn't want to give her the chance to hurt me again despite knowing she regrets what she did. But it wasn't a risk I wanted to take.

Letting out a breath, I glance at the woman once again, who was too caught up in her own world to acknowledge my lingering gaze. She looked a lot better compared to her initial reentry into my life. She put on weight and I could tell she was exercising again to tone her muscles.

My eyes rake over her tatted arms, loving her right sleeve more than the other. Maybe because it stood for something... whereas her left arm is just a bunch of... I wouldn't exactly call all of them meaningless because they mean something to her. But the red spider lillies with Christian and Hope's birth and death dates were more sentimental for me.

The switching of her legs grabs my attention away from her inked skin, my eyes meeting hers. She keeps her gaze on me, a ghost smile playing on her lips before she pulls her attention back to her phone. 

I frown as I find it impossible to avert my gaze from her. Today she was in a black baggy Slipknot t-shirt with khaki cargo pants and black air forces. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it's not nice to stare?" I hear causing the corner of my lips to pull into a smile.

I allow my gaze to meet her russet eyes. "No, but my brother taught me staring shows interest," I joke causing her to roll her eyes. 

"Look, it's embarrassing enough that we're here together... please don't make it weirder," she spits, though I knew she liked my flirting. She always does. I clear my throat, "You're right. Where are my manners?" I sigh, sitting up in my chair and crossing my right leg over my left.

The motion grabs her attention as her eyes land on my exposed legs. "Now who's staring? Don't make it weird Casey," I tease causing her to shake her head. 

"What are you doing out of school anyway?" she questions, changing the subject. A tightening in my chest occurs from her question as I think about my previous appointment. I've still yet to tell her or anyone else in the family that I'm pregnant. And as much as it hurt to not yell it to the world, the thought of telling her hurt more.

"I had a doctor's appointment earlier today."

"Busy schedule?" she questions and I nod my head. I finally pull my eyes away from her as I feel my phone vibrating in my lap. I'm not surprised to see it's Emily once again complaining about my absence today. I decide to send her a quick text. My eyes land on Casey before I lift my phone to snap a picture of her.