nothing lasts forever{wlw, teacherxstudent}

𝘚𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘳

-Natalie's POV-

I sit at my kitchen island with my coffee, Ellie comes in yawning snapping me out of my thought.

"What's up with you?" She asks and I pick up my coffee taking a sip.

"What?"

"You look...gloomy."

"Nothing, I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Women problems?"

"Can you read my mind or what?"

"Maybe, tell your younger sister." She hops onto the counter.

"It's nothing." I stand up taking my coffee as i leave the kitchen.

I walk to my office shutting the door. I go over to my desk sitting down.

I'm mad. Mostly mad at myself, I snapped at Diana last night when in reality it should have been her aunt I snapped at. God I feel terrible. I usually don't but she kept apologising as if her shitty aunt was her fault.

A piece of me gets where her aunt was coming from, but I'm not a child fucker. I know being with Diana isn't the best..from others point of view. But I'm not forcing Diana into this relationship. I got her consent for everything we did and we continue to do, if she didn't feel comfortable with something I wouldn't do it.

The last thing I want to do is-do something with someone that they don't want to do. I've told Diana so many times that I wouldn't be mad if she didn't want to do something. She always agrees to me touching her, I'll even ask her during sex will I keep going.

I'm not with Diana because she's my student, I'm with her because I have feelings for her. Like I said to Tatum, I deserve to be happy and whether I like to admit or not. That girl makes me happy, she makes me nervous believe or not. She gives me butterflies which...I don't exactly like.

I don't care about people's opinion, once me and her are happy....fuck everyone else. I don't need anybody's approval. I'm happy with her, I just keep thinking about her going off to college. Am I making the right decision to call our relationship off once she leaves.

I didn't really sleep last night, having coffee at two am isn't the best idea. I'm already on my third coffee of the day, I've mostly been thinking about Diana apologising.

She probably feels like it's her fault, it's not and I didn't reassure her on that. Diana needs reassurance, she loves being reminded on stuff...like praise, she loves being reassured that she's doing good but in this case I didn't reassure her that it wasn't her fault. I didn't reassure her.

I groan as I hear the door, I leave it. Ellie can answer it.

I was just so angry last night, it wasn't an excuse either because again...it wasn't Diana's fault, I can tell all she wanted is for me to bond with her aunt. I tried, I really fucking did but I can only handle so much.

Her aunt just kept going, I got over the first few comments but even when I was alone with her aunt. She was giving me looks, I ask her how she was and she hummed. Be a bitch to me and I'll be twice the bitch back, that's how I am but I wasn't like that. I tried...I really fucking did try to play nice like I thought she would but she didn't, I tried to leave without making any comments but it slipped out.

I'm guessing Diana is mad at me, for snapping at her and her aunt. Her aunt deserved it though, I won't apologise for it. I stayed there for as long as I could and she kept going, it was mortifying.

✺ ✺ ✺

I check my phone for new messages again. I drop my phone on the counter grabbing the bottle of whiskey since the wine is gone. I grab a glass pouring some before I hear the front door open.