Chapter 41

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"That annoying old man, he must hate me enough to exile us to this land." Alderic frowned while stepping on the cigarette furiously. Says the one who purposely provoked the Grand Duke to be here. "What else could be done?" I shake my head lightly. Handing over the wine, Alderic acted apologetically, "Sorry for dragging you into this." Not even a surprise, it was just a matter of time before I got involved in each of his troubles. Though I didn't think of myself as a crusty person, somehow Alderic always found his own way to get on my nerves. Notice my silence, he patted my shoulders, "Come on, this could be fun."

Clanking the wine bottle, we laughed out loud, carefree just like in the old days. "You used to be an annoying kid, you know," I confessed. In the blurry memory, comes a young boy. On that snowy battlefield, we were the youngest. The weak physics was not even enough to hold the gun properly, not to mention during combat. Though no one dared insult a Sylvester, he suffered countless back-stapped rumors. They could never understand why a noble young master had to come to this dowdy camp, selling his life to endless battles. Born to be the commander, but he chooses to be a soldier. Eventually, he became the center of attention, despite his will or not, even though most of them were criticisms. Never have I cared about those things, for regardless of his status, he, in the end, was just a boy. The story of us starts that night when I noticed he was practicing on the field. Falling countless times, his knees and hands scratching in pain, yet he still got up and fought. There were no images of a noble master, but of a determined knight forging his sword. Realizing my presence, the emerald eyes shine with excitement. Perhaps he could never have thought to meet someone around his age here. Lying on the field, watching the clouds fly high above, we have talked about so many things in this world. Eventually, the general scolds us for neglecting our duties, marking the first time in my life being punished by cleaning the horse barn. Though for him, it must be the hundredth time already.

"It's been so many years," Alderic exclaimed while sipping the wine. Indeed it was, through ups and downs, we have always been together. The moment I realized, this annoying person had become my dearest friend. "Till the end of the world?" he grinds. He was always like that, did what he pleased, and left me with no choice. "Till the end." I laugh.

The mission this time was fairly simple. All we had to do was blend in and gather information about Averi. Though it seems normal, gaining the trust of the doctor, who controlled this place, was no easy task. Lies seem unable to hide under those calm navy eyes. He amazed me with his sharp observation and mind, leaving me nothing but admiration. If we were not on the opposite side, I would love to work with him, learning from his ocean of knowledge, the doctor carrying the scent of tea. A casual afternoon conversation asks if the screaming of Alderic, who ran around the yard with the dogs behind him, left Theodore's face pale like paper. Though he looked just like usual, deep down I knew he wanted to just tie that man down, praying he wouldn't cause any trouble. I would do that if I were him. Gave him a reluctant smile, and I excuse myself. Though Alderic never noticed, being a friend of his for years helped me notice how sparkling his eyes were whenever he talked with the doctor. The simplest mission we received will soon become the hardest.

But never have I expected, on that destined day, I have met you.

"Sorry, I don't look in the way," you said while trying to find your falling glasses. Your clumsy little hands touching messily on my chest, left me speechless. From this angle, though strange, I can feel the faint floral scent lingering on your silky hair. The crimson curls caressed my hand, a color that was so dazzling, just like a rose. The warmth and softness of yours. Your cheeks blush from embarrassment, even with the glasses just inches away. Under the light chuckle, the redness on those chubby cheeks was even brighter. Like a bashful rose, you were. But why did I regret your leaving?

Slowly, you stepped into my life, coloring it with countless of your colors. The color of the forest lies in your bright eyes, the crimson of your hair, the warmth of your touches... And those charming smiles. All of a sudden, it drowns me in feelings I have never understood. I remembered the first "date" we had, the day I had you all day, for myself. Though selfish, I have wanted a day like this for so long. Again, you seem to somehow find a way, to fall into my arms. Just to make me realize how fit, how perfect you are in these hands. On that spring day, the moment the flower petals fell like rain. You will never know, how these eyes are never able to turn away as they see you so beautifully under the flowers' rain. The white petals are dancing on your hands, kissing your hair, your smile. For a moment, I wished I could just be that petal. To be able to touch those soft lips, even for just a second. You will never know I have taken away a petal lingering in your hair, for my own. A piece of you is always resting in my heart.

Then comes that night...

Under the moonlight, you took away my breath, my life. In a pure white dress, nothing in this world can match your beauty. Gracefully you were, beautifully you were just like a bride... Hands in hand, our hearts melt into one in the dance. So easily we were able to harmonize in the dance of blooming love. You drunk me in those sparkling clear eyes, drunk me in the smiles of yours...drunk me in your unconditional love. Touching those lips with this hand, feel the softness touching the fingertips. You will never know how desperate I was, to use all my strength to control myself and kiss you with all I had. Telling you all the things stuck in my heart for so long. You will never know how I just wanted to throw everything away and escape with you. In those pearls, I only see myself. My weak, cowardly self.

Who am I to ask for your love?

Letting you go was the hardest thing I ever did. I didn't deserve you... for I was nothing but a traitor, who came here to destroy everything. Distancing myself, hoping somehow it would let you forget what we had, and return to the carefree Cecil. Ignoring each cell in mine, yearning for your presence. You will never know, how many nights I have dreamed of you. How many little memories of us are replayed over and over again in those dreams. I didn't dare to even have the slightest thoughts of you, and only in dreams, you came, comforting this cold heart. But, in the end, you never failed to surprise me. Despite the dangers, you still came and followed me to the forest. Watched from afar, a part of me hoping you would give up and return, the other part... wishing you could stay.

There was a tradition, a forgotten one, back in my home. The moment we introduce a person we love into our family, they will ask that person to marry. And there you were, even pointing out my flaws to my parents. Knowing you are keen on flowers, you have come to my secret place, the dandelion field. Just as I have imagined countless times, you were so beautiful. You danced gracefully and took my breath away with each of your steps. You will never know that that day was the happiest of my life, that I would carve deep in my heart until the end of my life. To have you, to get lost in those lips.

There was a secret, I was keeping from you. A secret between me and the dandelions. One last secret.. to the dandelions, the children of the wind. If I were reincarnated, I would want to be a dandelion. I will ask the wind to carry me to you, so my petals can touch your cheek, kiss your hair, from time to time.

And perhaps, if the wind is kind enough, I can kiss your lips for even just a second.

I was enchanted to meet you. Every day, I'm grateful for, finally, I was able to meet you, to fall in love with you... even just a matter of time.

I love you, Cecilia, with all my life... May each day ahead of yours be filled with happiness... Even when I was gone...


Goodbye, my love. The only rose in my barren land. 

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