The Sun Shines Bright

Blaze's Music Class

Blaze arrives into her music class with a smile and a work ethic that could comapre to the best of the best. This is her favorite class. She loves music. One of the few reason she wakes up in the morning to go to school. It's great, the wonderful world of music.

She plops down at her desk and is ready and raring to go. She waits patiently, you can't rush on the first day she knows. So she waits and waits and waits. People show up, but where's the teacher? She wonders where he is. She looks around and at the other students. They seem to be as confused as she is.

She's very confused at this situation. That's until she sees a very bright sticky note on a filing cabinet. She goes out of her seat. She goes to look at it and see what it says. She looks at it and it reads.

'Sorry students. I cannot be here today. I hope you will forgive me. I couldn't find a substitute in time so I had to leave and had no time to write anything except this sticky not and call the office to explain my situation. So please, feel free to do whatever you want. You know, besides breaking school rules'

Blaze sighs. This sucks. She calls this to attention of everyone else. Everyone else cheers and runs out of the classroom. It's only about 9 other kids. She still doesn't like that they left, Blaze sighs again and logs into a computer and starts to make music.

She keeps making it with laser focus. Trying her hardest to make the best sound she can. Focusing harder and harder. By the time she's finished she looks at her works and hits play. That's when it happens: she hates it. She doesn't know what she's doing wrong! She can do this!

So she tries again. She tries again. She tries again. Failures she deems them. She looks back to the other ones. She still feels they are horrible, terrible messes. So she keep moving forward to try and succeed. She keeps trying, she can't stop, not now. She can't stop.

Failure captivates her. She tries to beat it, beat it until it deflated and is completely extinguished. She hates it. With a burning passion. She wants to light it ablaze and asunder. She keeps trying. Trying and failing. Again and again. Maybe she's working too fast. So she goes slower. Maybe she's working too slow. So she goes even faster than ever before. Neither or any other possible solution works.

She takes her headphones off and stares and the ceiling trying to figure out how and why. She can't. The art won't come out. It doesn't flow threw her. She can't allow it to come out or even try to force it too. She hates this feeling. She can't ever make something that's good enough. Maybe she's putting to much pressure on herself. Maybe she's not.

No matter what, she keeps going. Trying again and again. Trying to push the rhetoric that she can. She keeps pushing against the seemingly unmovable wall. She feels herself. She helps herself get back up and get over with it. She has a long way to go. She doesn't want to reason with the wall, she can't. It's a wall. Even if she could, she doesn't.

She keeps trying, that's what's important. She keeps going. She keep trying and trying and trying and trying. It doesn't matter how bad she thinks it is. She reworks it until it will sound better. She will make the perfect song. She knows nothing is perfect, she wants to make something somewhat close to it. She wants to at least try to make something perfect.

Nobody's perfect. Blaze stops and breathes. She sighs again. Releasing and then encapsulating air into her body. She needs to focus, she needs to move and do this right. Not busting down a wall, figuring out why that wall is there in the first place. She keeps trying and trying. She still can't hit that wall.

Blaze hates this feeling. This feeling keeps coming up. She feels like she's not good enough and that isn't good. She keeps that feeling down and away. She doesn't want it to come up. She doesn't want it to latch into her brain and become a main though. It remains in the back of her head. Away and without purposes. Except to find a way out. Blaze wants it to stay put.
Following this feeling is her still struggling. Tweaking and moving and recording and re-recording and re-re-recording. Replays and looking at it from so many angles. Nothing is particularly wrong. The devil is in the details. She hates that. It's true, but she hates that. So she works with the details, nothing changes. She looks at the bigger picture, nothing changes. Balance between the two, nothing changes. She breathes and calms herself.

Spiraling is not good for her or anyone. Cream does that sometimes. She hates when Cream does that. So she promises herself she stays strong for Cream. Cream needs help, so does she but Cream needs more help. She tries again and again. She needs a environment where she can thrive. But this is that environment! She has everything! What is she missing?

She ponders this for a bit. She doesn't know. That's the problem! How could she be so oblivious to this! She has got this now. Now she needs to figure out what is missing and also how she can achieve or get it. That will solve everything, she's missing something. She's on the right track now. She finally figured it out.

Finally, she gets it. She now needs to figure what that is now. She need to know and see how and what effects her. She needs to get the thing she's missing. Then, hopefully, she will figure out how and why she's like this and whatever the things she's missing is, she will find it. Now she needs to figure out where it is.