A Court of Love and Healing {ACOTAR}

Soul Bonds and Blood Marks

Heavy panting and grumbles resound through the room. Vassa shifts, feeling radiating heat at her back as her eyes slip open. Jurian begins to move around a bit, moaning in pain, before he begins to thrash. "No...no make it stop...stop it...stop...stop!", he mumbles loudly.

Vassa sits up and pulls the sheet up to her chest, furrowing her brows.

"Jurian", she whispers in shock, leaning over to shake his shoulder tenderly. He still doesn't wake.

"Jurian!", she says louder, scooting closer and rousing him harder. "Juri!"

He gasps and yells out, flinching away from her as his eyes shoot open, wild and searching in the darkness. "No!", he shouts, jumping out of bed, sheets barely entangled around his waist.

"Jurian, it's me. It's me. It's Vassa", she says softly, reaching her hand out to him.

He pants hard and blinks, turning on a light. "Fuck", he mutters, running his hands over his face. "Vassa...I-I'm sorry."

"Shh...come here", she whispers, holding her arms out.

A lump forms in his throat and he crawls back into bed. Vassa moves close and wraps her arms around him tightly, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck. "You don't always have to be strong. Nobody can be. It's not possible. You've been here for me on my bad days, so let me be here for your bad days."

Pulling back, she rests her forehead on his. "I promise I won't let anyone know that the tough general cries sometimes", she smiles beautifully. "But to me, that just makes you human. Which is a beautiful thing to be. Something that I took advantage of, and I wish I hadn't. I hope that this curse can be broken, by if it can't at least I have these nights with you. I don't want to be anywhere else anymore."

Jurian settles into her arms and rests his head on her chest, taking a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay", she says soothingly, stroking his hair. "You seemed really...scared or, I dunno, disgusted."

"I was scared and disgusted the whole time. Hundreds of years stuck in the ring", he whispers. "It was...horrific."

Vassa looks down at him and dips her head, pressing her lips to his. He kisses back slowly and hums softly before they separate.

"It's not easy for me to talk to, and I'd rather not. I know you're here for me but I—you don't need to hear about those terrible things."

Vassa looks at him with a soft, empathetic look, yet her cerulean eyes remain determined. "I'm not breakable just because I'm a woman, Jurian. As I keep reminding you, I am a—"

"A queen. I know", he says softly, bringing her tanned knuckles to his lips. "You have seen many terrible things and been through many terrible things too. It's just that...I don't know if I will ever get out of this hole I'm trapped in. It feels like the darkness is going to swallow me whole every day. Like, everything great that we have right now will get torn away from me like everything else good I've ever lived in my life. Happiness doesn't seek me out, so when it does, I know the other shoe is soon to drop. And as much as I believed I was in love with Miryam back then...I realize now that she was what I thought I needed, but I was clinging to any scrap of love I could get. History has a habit of repeating itself and I think even the Fae do that when it comes to love. Tamlin and Feyre come to mind. And I—I don't want to be presumptuous, but I think you are the one I was truly meant for. If I had died my natural death and had never been tortured and taken and broken and trapped by Amarantha...I would never have lived long enough to meet you. The fact that I did...", he pauses and takes a breath. "I think I was truly meant to meet you, to be with you. As much as I will never believe that I could be the man you deserve, it's crazy that it happened just as it did. I was cursed, and now the woman that was truly meant for me is also cursed. It would be quite the coincidence."