A Court of Love and Healing {ACOTAR}

Takes A Beast To Know A Beast

Feyre smiles softly down at Nyx dozing in his cot, his small wings raised in the air behind him as he sleeps on his belly, face smushed comfortably.

Slipping out of the room, she makes her way to her own, shirking off her black sweater for a blush pink lightweight tee. She has had this irritating feeling in the center of her chest all day. Despite the lingering war and all the fears for Elain, Balthazar, and the rest, the feeling had been there when she woke up. Of course, she knows what it is, but she doesn't want to admit that to herself. Too bad it only grew with each hour that passed, and her curiosity became much too strong to handle.

So moments ago she had made the decision to take the plunge and act recklessly. She knows--she knows it probably isn't a good idea; definitely isn't a good idea. But she has to know—has to see with her own eyes. She has to. The compulsion to do so has a chokehold on her. Not to mention she can always use the excuse of making sure her sister was safe in "enemy" territory. After all, that is what he had called the Night Court to her plenty of times when she was stuck there. She knows that Elain is safe with Lucien but...

She shakes her head and sighs deeply, peering into the mirror. Healthy, despite the circles of exhaustion under her eyes from Nyx not sleeping well at night. Luckily Rhysand will be tied up in his office all day, but the wraith twins had been kind enough to accept watching after Nyx for a little bit.

Winnowing down to Rhys's office, he looks up wearily, his brow furrowing.

"Before you say anything, I just want you to know that this is my decision and I promise I won't kick up too much of a fuss."

"Feyre", he sighs. "Why tempt yourself like that? Why test it? Leave it alone. He is never going to want to see things from our perspective, and he will never back down. People like that, don't."

Feyre crosses her arms a bit and sighs. "Because, Rhys. Despite all of the bad blood, he did save you. I watched you die and I felt our bond go silent. I—"

Rhys looks into her eyes and then holds out a hand. She places a tattooed one in his and he gently pulls her onto his lap. "I know what that's like. But just because he has a shred of morality does not mean anything greater."

Feyre kisses his cheek tenderly. "I'm not saying that everything that happened was right or excusable. It was a horrible time for both of us and we fell out in the worst way. But Rhys, I...when I was begging for your life...I sounded like him."

"What do you mean?"

"I sounded like him Under the Mountain. I begged him to save you, and I told him that I would give him anything. But do you know what he did? He gave you that kernel to bring you back, with no stipulations. And you know what I expected him to do? I expected him to force me into a bargain. To make me make a deal for your life. To make me bargain away a week a month to the Spring Court. But he didn't. He had three options at that moment. Two out of revenge—let you die, or force me to make him a bargain for your life. And he didn't. He saved you for nothing in return."

Rhysand's eyes go a bit stormy, and he blows out a breath. "I admit that maybe we got some things wrong. But he is still the male that got my family killed. And no matter what he does to try to make up for that and all his indiscretions with you, it won't make a difference. All the shit still happened. And no number of flowers will make it smell better."

"He is still reeling, Rhys. We did call him a traitor when he wasn't. He...he did risk his life to get that intel from Hybern. He saved both of us. We can at least be...more civil. He is frustrating, yes. But I am going to try my best to keep my cool. I just—I need to see that the rebuild went well. Honestly, maybe what I did was wrong in some ways, but he needed an overhaul anyway."