ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕤 𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕒/캐럿 아이디어

𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚎

{meanie}

⚠️TW⚠️:self harm, depressed
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-wonwoo pov-
I look in the mirror for the last time and see how ugly i look, the only pretty thing i see are the red scar on my arm.

I've been trying to stay clean for a year now but just looking at me all i can feel is disgust.

I'm fat and my face is so ruff and gross.

Sometime i go at least a weeks without eating good proper food and everyday i puke in the shower.

I try to think of it as my fat going away.

But that never going to happen cause no matter what i do i'll always be gross.

I have a boyfriend and amazing friend but it feel so wrong to be with them.

Maybe they hate me?

Of course, who wouldn't hate me!

Maybe they don't love me?

Just like you don't love yourself!

All these words made me go insane i just couldn't take it, i try to stay strong for my friend but just the sight of a simple blade can kill me.

I slowly walked to my closet where my boyfriend locked all my blade, but lucky for me i remember the pass code.

Typing it in and seeing all the pretty color of blade with my blood stain on all of them.

"there so cool i wonder if i could...?"

With out thinking i slice the pink blade right into my skin making my red blood gush out and it was so amazing it made me want to do it again, and so i did.

I went for another then another and one more slice, and one after one my arm was filled with red cut.

"beautiful" i whispered so my self, i wanted more i don't know why but i do.

I was going to go to my other arm but i got a call from mingyu, i quickly put everything down and answered the call.

"yes mingyu?" i said trying to sound as calm as i can which wasn't very calm.

"hey i'm on my way so be ready i even stop by the store and got snack!!!"

"great i'll be ready and down stair soon" i said smiling at him.

"ok love you bye" he said brightly.

"love you too" and after that i hung up.

I panicked as i ran around cleaning everything up, i put all the blade away locking the safe.

I cleaned all the blood on the floor, and when i was done with that i cleaned my arm wrapping a bandage around it.

Ok, i seem to be ready but just to be sure i put on a hoodie so he wouldn't question the bandage around my arm.

Once i finish getting ready i walked down stair with my phone so when he came he could text me.

Though that wasn't really needed cause right when i got down stair the door bell ringed and it was him.

I opened the door and see mingyu also in a hoodie and sweat with bag full of sweet and snack.

"hi baby" mingyu leaned down giving me a hug, i wrapped my arm his neck which was mostly a bad idea cause he pulled my arm away looking at the one bandage up.

"baby what on your arm" he said with a confuse face pulling my sleeve up.

But i quickly pulled it away not wanting him to see the bandage on my arm.

"nothing baby i just hurt my arm" i said trying to come up with something.

"baby i know your lying what happen to your arm.....wait"

Mingyu stopped looking at me with pleasing eye like he wanted me not say what he thought happen to your arm.

"baby did you...." I looked down cause i didn't know what to say, if i lied he would have known no matter what.

"wonwoo why?" he said sounding like a parent when there kid did something stupid.

"i don't know" i said still looking down not wanting to look up at him.

"i thought you were clean?"

I shook my head no and took off the bandage showing him all the scar that laid on my arm.

"i locked up all your blade and yet you still went in there and hurt yourself?"

"i'm sorry ok i just didnt feel happy at the time"

"baby if you feel that way you have me to talk to!?" he said walking to me and bringing me in for a hug.

"but you'll just say dont do it again and everybody love you" i said trying to denfend myself.

"cause everybody do love you honey, i'm not saying this to make you feel better i'm saying this cause it true we really do love you, out of all our birthday who had the best? YOU we went to another country and took you on a two day shopping spree we even rented a whole movie theater just so you could watch your favorite movie dino didn't even have that" mingyu said.

Mingyu bent down to look at me face to face while smiling, he leaned in and pecked my lip softly.

"just know we all love you ok!?" i nodded and smiled pulling him in for another hug.

"ok but can we watch a movie and eat the snack you brought cause i am very hungry"

Mingyu chuckled and nodded walking into the living room with the bag of snack as i went to go find blanket and more pillow.

"what movie do you want to watch?" mingyu ask when we got comfortable.

"the movie we watch on my birthday aka my favorite movie" i said smiling.

"ok love anything for you" mingyu said turning on the movies and getting up to turn the light off.

"hey want to make a deal!?" i ask looking at mingyu.

"sure what is it?" he said also looking at me.

"if i can stay clean for the rest of the year will you take me to the book store and buy me any book i want?"

"you know what sure i think you can do it and if you do i'll buy as many as you want!!"

"pinky promise?" i said putting my pinky finger up looking at him.

"pinky promise" he said connecting his pinky with mine leaning down to peck my lip again.

"i love you"

"love you more"

::
[AN:i just made this for the fun i was going to make this chapter a long time ago with other people but i didn't so...WHO CARE.

Anyway have a great rest of your day!!♡]

-Litte note- this is a sign to not hurt yourself and love yourself the way you are, wonwoo have gone through a lot of tough time but it still standing here happier then ever... NEVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE!!🤍