Disconnected [completed] MAJOR EDITING!!!!

Chapter 36

I've stopped eating. I can't bring myself to even eat a pot of noodles. I can tell mums becoming worried about me. I always makeup an excuse that I'm not hungry, or me and Amy grabbed some food on the way home. Or sometimes I just take the plate but throw the food out.

I can feel myself getting thinner and thinner. I lay down in bed and brush over my scars. I so glad Ashton took my blade from me. I'm still itching to cut, but I'm getting used to it.

I've been receiving message from all the boys- including Michael. Chloe has also been talking to me and a few messages from Caspar appear now and again. I answer everybody back except Michael- I can't reply to him.

Ashtons messages are mainly just telling me 'I'm beautiful' or 'I love you' which I think is really sweet. He really is a trustworthy person who can keep all your secrets. I feel like I'm kind of getting better, but I know I'm getting worse.

I've been having a lot of suicidal thoughts recently. I ask myself why I bother to live. Why I'm still alive. Why should I be alive. Then I always think about Ashton. And he helps me.

"Gemma, dinners ready." Mum says.
"What do you mean?" I ask. "Didn't I tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"I'm meeting Katie and were grabbing lunch in town."
"I was never told about this?"
"It must have slipped my mind. I'll see you soon." I grab my phone and head out to the park.

Luckily, the park was empty. I sat on a swing and dig out my phone. A message from Michael.

'Hi Gemma. I'm sorry if these texts are annoying, I'm just worried about you that's all. I just want to let you know that we'll all be back in a few weeks, and I was wondering if we could talk about us properly? X'

Why not answer him. I've already decided what I want to do.

'I'm so sorry Michael, I love you x'