My life on crack at 2 am

24

Random dude: YOU'RE NOT RAISING THE RAM, LEO

idk any dude named leo so eh

the thing abt raising the ram:

so our school mascot is Rocky the Ram, which is dumb but better than my elementary schools, one was a wolf and the other a panda (??) and also better than the school I'm going to in 2 years, which is a fricking knight (??)

and then there's this RAISE thing:
R - respect
A - accountable
I - inclusive
S - safe
E - something that starts with e that's good but i forgot

so there's this ongoing joke abt not "raising the ram" or "lowering the ram"

Me, peeing in restroom

Random girls: WHAT THE HAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Random dude: I have a rumbly tumbly

Friend 2: GET OVER YOURSELF

Frenemy 1: NO SHUT UP

Frenemy 1: YOU'RE BULLYING

Friend 2: EXCUSE ME?!?!

Friend 2: THIS IS MY FOOD

Frenemy 1: MR POLICEMAN SHE'S COMMITTING THEFT

then we had science ugh

when we were waiting out in the hallway there was this smeLL and everyone was complaining loudly and then our science teacher made us write a 5 sentence letter to her about what happened and about hallway expectations and about what we'll do next time.

the only one of my tablemates who paid attention was a spec ed kid who made annoying noises (which I don't hold against him cuz he can't help it) and he wouldn't say what the thing was about.

my other two tablemates were this dude that named our table plant Kevin and this girl whose memory is bad af.

GAL DIDN'T KNOW WHERE GODDAMN AFRICA WAS-

my friend said that her tablemates did nothing except play this dumb hand game

then the teacher left to do something

Random kid: *makes clapping and moaning noises*

we're going on a field trip next month (science) to see the health of streams and whatnot so we had to do this goofy ah dumb thing where we came up with 5- 7 important questions. then we had to put them into a google form.

the dumb part is that only one person from each table group could type and it had to be the person with the least siblings which was the spec ed kid. and APPARENTLY questions 6 and 7 were required so we had to come up with extra, ew, and the other dude and girl were COMPLETELY useless, I had to come up with ALL the questions.

also there was literally only 5 minutes until the bell rang.

then the teacher had the fucking NERVE to say " uHm, don't talk over me, it's not respectful," WELL EXCUSE ME MISS, IF YOU HADN'T SAID THAT WHOEVER HAD THE LEAST SIBLINGS HAD TO TYPE, THEN I WOULD HAVE DONE IT AND BE DONE IN A FRACTION OF THE TIME IT TOOK THE OTHER DUDE TO TYPE.

AND I ALSO HAD TO TELL HIM WHAT TO TYPE, SO PLEASE CHILL FOR A SINGLE FUCKING SECOND.

then she had to explain this whole shitload of something as the bell rang.

SHE'S THE VERY DEFINITION OF "the bell doesn't dismiss you, I do," AND EXPECTS US TO SAY GOODBYE TO HER. 

see children don't like being told what to do, and if she didn't force us to say goodbye to her, I still would have done so, but now I don't want to do it.

also there's two kids, one Charlie and the other Charles and every time she calls on Charlie she goes "char-LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" and always forgets which is which even though she writes it down.

then this one time she was taking attendance, and reading the names OFF THE ATTENDANCE SHEET, and there was this girl with a name that ended in "-i" and she pronounced it with an "-a" at the end PLEASE MISS THE PAPER IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU HOW COULD YOU HAVE MESSED IT UP

anyway then we had history

History teacher: I'm leaving early, because I can.

Frenemy 2: Will you miss us?

History teacher: Absolutely not.

History teacher: The South was ruEENed!

History teacher: Now why was the South ruEENed?

History teacher: Pretend for a moment that you're 18.

Random child: NO!

History teacher: I said pretend for a moment that you're 18.

Random child: ok

History teacher: Now, if you can vote, stand up. 

*everyone stands up*

History teacher: Now if you could vote in 1763, stand up.

*a bunch of indian children still standing*

History teacher: Sit down. I said in 1763.

History teacher: *sighs* *tells two white children to stand up*

History teacher: They can vote.

The 2 white children: *high five*

History teacher: Don't high-five your white.

History teacher: This amendment means that anyone who's born in the US is a citizen.

History teacher: Now you were all born in the US, so that means you're slaves-

Me: Hang on, WHAT?!

Everyone: WHOAOOAOAOAOOA

History teacher: ok wow that was the worst possible thing to say at that moment

History teacher: Don't tell your parents I'm racist, because I'm not

*history teacher leaves and a substitute teacher comes in*

Random child: He's adding something very inappropriate and violent to my drawing!!!!